Dec 1, 2008

Another Rant

Another rant by my manga-induced mind.


He's the epitome of bastard, jerk, and villain. Damn! Dia sungguh keji tahap MAX!

Nov 28, 2008


I'm going to be offline for a few days, due to I'm terminating my contract with my current ISP provider.

maybe i'll be online again tomorrow, maybe next week. I'm not sure, it all depends on how rajin am I on buying the internet cable.

so, don't worry if you see me offline, syah! XD

Nov 24, 2008

taking my mind off the exam

Exam’s tomorrow. As a person who has trouble coping with stress, I did what I knew best, avoiding it.

One way of avoiding is having a good dinner at some far off place. Okay, it’s not that far, I’m just exaggerating. The dinner consists of sotong asam pedas, ikan bawal bakar and kangkung goreng. Sounds a lot, right? It is a lot, even for two ( I went with Intan).

Another way of running away from exam is by pondering over silly things. Like, why do condoms have various flavour. I saw a strawberry-flavoured Durex condom when I was paying for my candy. Talk about coincidence. Being a curious girl that I am, I proceeded to ask a good friend of mine on the mystery of flavoured condoms. He said that it’s for enhancing sexual pleasure, to mask the taste of latex during blowjobs. I said eww.

Yeah, I was feigning innocence. But it was fun asking those kinds of questions. It made me laugh when I read his replies on Y!M.

Hooo, yeah I’m evil.

To top of this sexual-laced entry, a Y!M status of a friend of mine,

“Hoh, *anonymous gila seks, x caye?tanye bdak yg len”

*name changed to protect privacy.


Nov 23, 2008

StarCraft : Brood War

StarCraft:Brood War is like my ultimate all time favourite computer game.

Too bad the last time I played it was back in '98/'99.

and I didn't even finish the game.

Damn those stupid viruses and being a real n00b back then!

Maybe I should just rent the cd and played it again...


Btw, when is the next StarCraft coming out? Or are they too busy with WarCraft now?

Nov 21, 2008

I am a nice girl

I just realized this. The day after our futsal match, I was hanging out with the guys, waiting for the rain to stop. With nothing to do, no hot drinks let alone hot food, the guys gossiped. Oh how they gossip about everything, from the beauty of the Bandung girls, to when is the next post-mortem meeting. Then, come the girls’ futsal match analysis.

Before that, introduction about the (girl) futsal match, since I don’t give two-dimes about the guys match, even though Master J, Alex, Azree, Zouk, Kimi, Luqman, Aaron were playing. What I know about the guys games is, no matter what team they are in, let it be Jogja A, Jogja B or Jogja Senior, I just want them to win. Or at least qualified to semifinals (which none of them did. Gah!). Back to girls’ game, Jogja sent two teams, which were Jogja Senior (mostly the Rainbow Republic players) and Jogja Junior (that’s us! The Crazy Bananas!). First thing first, who’s bright idea to name the team as Senior and Junior? It’s not like all of the team members of Senior team are seniors and vice versa. And third years are consider as seniors ya know. Juniors are first and second years!

Jogja Juniors.

Jogja Seniors are in group A, and we’re in group B. Group A had two strongest girl futsal teams, Surabaya and Bandung teams. Why this arrangement? Let me let out a secret, Azree (our coach slash AJK Sukan) didn’t want us to meet strong teams in the group stage. That’s a bit unfair isn’t it? But he didn’t expect that Bali girl’s team was strong either. Haih… anyways, the Jogja Sr team is really, really strong. They managed to get a 0-0 tie with Bandung, and Surabaya (correct me if I’m wrong. My memory is a bit hazy). Not losing to champs!! How cool is that? *grins*

Back to the topic. Our team Jogja Jr managed to advance to semifinal, only to meet with the Bandung team. We’re so scared of Bandung. They’re mean, they’re aggressive, and they’re damn good. Plus, one of the players can actually dribble the ball. I know dribbling is the basic skill in football, but hey, we’re girls, we can afford not to dribble, right? Their way of playing it, do anything as long as you get the ball and score it. Even though it means pushing, tarik-tarik baju, and kicking the opponent’s shin. Heck, they nearly kicked our goalie in the face! Yet, I failed to show my mean streak of kicking and pushing and pulling. Why? Mainly because they didn't do that to me. Looking like you can eat all of them for breakfast is certainly helpful, you know. They didn't dare to mess with me. Sad part was, they messed with one of my teammates, by kicking her at the shin... the bengkakness was scary, and she almost cried because of it...

Hafiz Kelantan commented on our Jogja team (both Senior and Junior). He said that we’re pretty strong ourselves, since we managed to tie with Bandung (Sr) and lost 1-0 (Jr), since there was a team who lost 3-0 with the Bandung girls. The guys discussed that they should teach one of the girls to dribble since it will be a HUMONGOUS advantage for our team. However, he was shocked when I told him that the Bandung girls main tarik-tarik baju. He asked me why didn’t I kicked the star player of Bandung, since it will cripple them greatly, I said that:

“ Aku tak suka main sepak-sepak ni. Sangat tidak professional”

And he said,

“Tapi korang kalah gakkk”


Despite of my bitching about Bandung team here, I cannot deny that they truly are a great team. They have good strategy, and endless stamina. They know that they’re weak on the defense, so they played aggressively, where they keep on attacking our side. They do know how to keep the game on their pace, their advantage, and that’s really cool. I mean, you cannot be the champion just by playing mean, can you?

Till we meet again Bandung, and at that time, we will prevail….

Last but not least....

Look, what I've found!! XD

Nov 18, 2008


Exam is next week, and I only read two lecture notes… *gasp*
Let’s ignore that fact friends…

So today I’m gonna express my love towards Shiina Ringo the “gureto”!
Currently, I’m in love with her song Oiran, which actually means courtesan/ upper-class prostitute. Don’t ask me why she named it that way; she’s just like that (like a song titled Yokushitsu/Bathroom… so just let it go).

The song started out with self-consciousness, as the girl stated the different in their status,

"I know I don’t quite measure up against you"
Which may means intellectually, socially or economically. And also she did say that their meeting was purely coincidental, a meeting arranged by fate
“The whole context in which we met was innocent”

She was thoroughly charmed by the guy, but it wasn’t her who called the shots, she played right into the guy’s arm (is this sentence correct? Herm..)
“Your charming ways deserve the blame for our time”
“It wasn’t me who led, your words spoke confidence”

Then the song progresses to the first bud of love, where she totally adore the smile on her lover’s face
“Like a flower in spring that blooms to life so radiant”

And also the first bit of possessiveness, where she wants to keep the guy only to herself
“Let it be only me forever since I want it more”
“Give it only to me please”

Come the chorus, where everything is all right as long as they are together. The world is beautiful when you’re in love.
“Moonlight showers down on you like flower blossoms”
“Somehow let me live this dream with you, endlessly”

Somehow, she suspected that she isn’t the only one in her lover’s life. The fact that she doesn’t really know him bothers her
“You hide your thoughts and shroud yourself in mystery”

But she can feel it, especially when he holds her near
“When you leaned against my shoulder I did notice it”

The mystery is driving her crazy, but whenever she asked him, he always managed to dodge the questions
“You’re quick and bright so pacify my complaints”

His sweet, gentle way makes it more difficult for her, and she felt like a monster for being jealous without any apparent reason
“Trapped in this room, suffocating in your niceties”
“I’m losing my mind to more fits of jealousy”

If not being treated as a princess will get her his heart, she’s willing to do that
“Come on right now, no need to treat me nice anymore”

However, it has reached a stage where she doesn’t trust herself to be with him anymore, because maybe she know that she will keep on hurting herself
“Somehow I want to hide myself somewhere away from you”

So all in all, the song is about falling in love and hurting oneself with one’s love. Like a prostitute’s love, where she knows that she will never get the man she love, even though he told her that she’s the only one. There will always be a nagging voice in her head that told her that she’s not the only one, and she knew absolutely nothing of her lover, maybe not even his real name.

A befitting title don’t you think?

Nov 17, 2008

something i did during lecture

this is the original picture:

i cropped this out of the original

and this is what i have done:

haha..i butchered the picture a bit, okay... a lot!

Nov 16, 2008

i have no more words left to say

dear you

sorry for not being able to be the perfect girl you want me to be.
i'm tired of trying to make you happy.
you will never be happy.
not with me, not with anybody else.
you're too busy to think about yourself and your reputation to even think of someone other than you.
i'm sick of your lies, sick of your endless complaints.
nothing will ever be perfect in your eyes, except you.
maybe you should marry yourself.
it must turn you on every time you look at the mirror, doesn't it?

fuck you, biatch!

Nov 14, 2008

yesterday's joke

yesterday, Alex, Syazwan n me went to the dean's office to pick up an lcd projector, a megaphone and a screen. and this is what happened:

Wan: Pak, kami ini yg kemarin, mau ngambil barangnya.
Sir, we're the ones from yesterday, we're here to pick up the stuff.

Pak 1: Oh ya, ya! mas ini namanya siapa ya?
Oh yes! what's your name, young man?

Wan: Err... Wan, nama saya Wan.
Err... Wan, my name is Wan

Pak 1: Ha? Ah Wan??

(Alex and me were giggling here)

Wan: Bukan, bukan! Nama saya Syazwan, mcm yang di belakang ini!
No, no! My name is Syazwan, like written on the back!

(Syazwan had his name written on the back of his shirt)

Pak 1: Ohh!!! SYAHWAN ya??


thank god that at least he got the last letter correct! else it'll be some other word!

*courtesy of Alex*

yelaa! aku majokkk laa!!

Nov 12, 2008


aku accidentally rosakkan mp3 player jern time aku usha-usha function dia. time lecture....

model mp3 encik jernih, yeah, kaler hitam


new info: mp3 encik jern telah sembuh.
rupa-rupanya adalah gara2 virus....

ps: rasanya bakal sibuk...sampai hujung minggu ni...

Nov 3, 2008


i feel lonely.
i got friends.
but not a clique.
i need to be a part of clique. hiks

maybe i just need another vacation
but maybe, i need to start to be part of the crowd,
instead of building an invisible cocoon around me.

Nov 1, 2008

living life

lately i've been snapping pictures with ma new camera, olympus u850 SW.
and mostly, are junk pictures. plus, i've been dubbed as paparazzi (or mamarazzi) due to my tendency of snapping pictures of a classmate of mine.
apa leh buat..dia cute dalam gambar pe! XD XD

mr j yg sedang membuka beg

anyways, i'm supposed to be busy, but i'm too lazy to be busy.. daym..
keje berlambak, eg, the yearbook, the seminar, and of course my monthly writings for FIKIR.
yet i see me sleeping all day long, shopping, and do nothing. hahahaha!

ah well. all is well.

it's better to be too busy than having too much idle time in my hands.

too much time leads to too much thinking. and as i said before, too much thinking hurts me so.

until then guys!

Oct 25, 2008

happy (belated) birthday!

my friends gave us october girls (Ida, Gaya and me) a birthday party.
it turns out to be a surprise on me.

ida's name is missing

at first i thought azree had invited me for dinner, since lately, i've been having dinner with his housemates and him. but when i arrived at the Foodfest, i was quite shocked to see 15 of my friends around.

eagerly waiting in front of the cake


the surprise was superb. and the cake delicious.

the celebrated birthday girl. even if today isn't my birthday. XD

thanks Mad for organizing it!
and to all October girls, happy birthday! XD

Oct 19, 2008

new layout, utp gamelan and open house

i'm changing to this new layout.
because i'm already bored with the old one.

malas nak customize...
dah separuh hari try customizing, but it didn't turn out as i expected.
so i just used any template that i found in the web.

hence, this.

btw, the UTP Gamelan Troop came to visit us the past few days. they were supposed to join International Gamelan Festival (ye ke namanye dia neh?), that was supposedly held this week.
and being Indonesia, the host had to change the date TWICE. so kesianla the UTP students tak dapat join... yang Gamelan Fest tu next week. memang sakit hati giler!!

the troop and us

tapi, penatla layan diorang ni. they went all over the place. from FIB (Fakultas Ilmu Budaya), FoodFest, Malioboro, Amplaz, and that Balai Budaya Minomartani in god-knows-where. after a few days hanging out with them, i can conclude that if they have abundance of good food, karaoke system and a place to shop, they'll be very happy. sangat suka makan!

and today, sara nabiha's kos held an raya open house. best giler!! ada lontong, roti jala and must eat nasi lemak... kenyang aku makan free arini!! hahahahaha!! and the best part, everyone was wearing baju raya, i'm the few sesat ones who only wore jeans and t-shirt. alangkah!!

berhari raya...apesal blur gambar ni? sapa amik gambar ni?

Oct 13, 2008


I went back home for raya. Again. I’m studying overseas, and yet, I’ve been back home every raya ever since I entered the university. Cool isn’t it?
This year’s raya, I think was the funniest. Mainly because of our ever-growing family. My married cousins have at least a child of their own, and like what Arif said, he was shocked to see that “ semua orang keluarkan anak masing-masing”. Yeah, like Kak Ija has Nurin (the ever cute girl, who we can pass around like cookies) plus she’s pregnant with her second child, Kak Pija has Zafran who is too little to understand anything, Kak Ngah has Danish with his “pabob, pabob” (Spongebob), Kak Long Siti with Nana and Fakiha, Mak Busu is already 9months pregnant with her second child, so on and so forth. Too bad I didn’t manage to meet Kak Nor since she went back to her husband’s kampong this raya. I want to meet their fourth child, Fadli, in addition to Husna, Salwa and Fathi the vet.

I have 18 aunts and uncles, 32 cousins, and some of them are married with children (10 anak sedara..wee!)

We have HUMONGOUS family. I think. Hahaha!

Too bad I’m only close with my mother’s side, not my father’s side. Mainly because I’m staying in Melaka, which is my mom’s hometown (our house is only 10 minutes drive from my grandma’s house).

Oh, I forgot to tell the funny part of this year’s raya. Well, our family has a tradition, every raya evening, kami akan buat kenduri, but families only. Since few years ago, the term family only restricted to my mother’s siblings and their children (like I said, there’s 35 of us cousins). As usual, two days before raya we’ll be weaving the ketupats, at least 300 pieces of ketupat cases (I’ve mastered the art for three years now, yeah!!) and one day before raya, the mothers will be busy preparing all the rendang (3 types: rendang ayam, rendang daging and rendang itik), sambal (two types: sambal udang and sambal sotong), kelapa goreng and boiling the ketupats.
And on the eve of raya, there’s the kenduri. Oklah, kenduri, we all ate together, and there’s a lot of dishes to be washed (argh!) and cleaning up were done.

Thank god for having a hired help, and a lot of cousins (unwilling laborers. Hahaha!). The next day, before going for raya prayer, my family (my mom, Asyraf, Amir and me, plus the ever sesat Ahmad) went to my grandma’s house for breakfast. Hah, I was shocked to see most of the lauks are gone! I mean, gone!!! The only thing left at that time were bits and pieces of rendang ayam. And a few ketupats. Others, others had gone into the massive stomachs of my cousins. There’s nothing left for the guests. Nothing what so ever. So my mom and her army of sisters cooked ayam masak lemak and pindang daging for lunch. She even made sambal udang for the remaining ketupats, but she hid it before any of us managed to find it (I’m the lucky one, I managed to grab 3 prawns before my mom hid it).

The chocolate cake my mom brought for raya to grandma’s house, was gone after 1 hour of breaking fast. That fast. Haihh… and people said I ate a lot. I had to! Influences from the family! XD

And I went to Singapore on the evening of first day raya with Pak Long and Mak Itam, to visit Mak Sal. Her husband had been in the hospital for 3 weeks plus and was released on the evening of second day raya. The Tan Tock Seng Hospital was super duper cool. I thought I was in some sort of hotel! And they even have two floors for John Hopkins! John Hopkins dudes!! We didn’t manage to catch Fauzi Fauzy since he was involved in National Service. We only managed to see Aainaa (whoa!), the aspiring actress Uteh and the gentleman Hazmi Hazmie (or, as Mak Itam calls him, Ami-go. Kes kes kes!). One day in Singapore definitely not enough! I want more!!! Next time next time…. XD

(no pic. aku malas upload pic. hahaha!)

Sep 26, 2008

Exam, Project and Raya

We just finished block 13 exam yesterday. it was tiring. balik exam je rasa macam nak pengsan. but still, even tho i felt like fainting since 4pm, I'm still awake at 10pm. huahuahuahua!!

And our Peduli Ini Untuk Siapa project was, alhamdulillah, without much trouble. even tho we're really really late in preparing the food, the second half only finished packing after maghrib and we don't have enough for 60 people. Thanks a lot to all the members, and to those girls and guys who helped, and waited for so long, really, only Allah can repay for what you had done. Not forgetting to those who donated for this cause. May Allah bless you, and your families. Apa-apa pun, NDWA rocks!! XD

And raya, raya is only a few days away.... isk... Ramadhan is approaching it's end... T_T
Hopefully, whatever good things i did during Ramadhan, will be carried outside Ramadhan too.. Ameen.

anyways, Selamat Menyambut Aidil Fitri, Maaf Lahir dan Batin!!

ps: I'm going back home on the 28/9 for two weeks. YAY!!!

Sep 24, 2008

Peduli Ini Untuk Siapa

NDWA will conduct a Ramadhan Project : Peduli ini Untuk Siapa on this Friday, 26/9/08

This is a non-profitable project, where we will give food for breaking fast to street kids around JaKal.

who's interested in joining in, can contact me (rean), nad, siti or faz.
any donations, be it money or energy, is greatly appreciated.

(only open to those staying in Jogjakarta)

Marilah tambahkan amal sebelum Ramadhan menghilang..

Sep 21, 2008

shopaholic/shoes addict

I bought meself a new pair of shoes..... LAST NIGHT


can't stop thinking about this one....

notice how high it is... oh

I call this as my NANA-shoes...
lame, I know..

and these freaks cost me rp359 000....that's a whopping rm130.51!!!!


Sep 18, 2008

Love is Blind - Shiina Ringo

Love is blind
Love is only sorrow
Love is no tomorrow
Since you went away
Love is blind
How well I remember
In the heat of summer
Pleasure, winter fades

How long will it take
Before I can't remember
Memories I should forget?
I've been burning
Since the day we met

Love is blind
Love is without a mercy
Love is now you've hurt me
Now you've gone away
Love is blind
Love is no horizon
And I'm slowly dying
Here in yesterday

In the morning waken
To the sound of weeping
Someone else should weep for me
Now it's over
Lover, let me be

Love is blind
Love is your caress
Love is tenderness
And momentary pain
Love is blind
How well I remember
In the heat of summer
Pleasure, winter fades

the video is actually for another song of hers, "Ringo no Uta". but anyways, enjoy the music and lyric of Love is Blind! XD

10 things i want to do before i die (or get married)

here's the list of things that i hoped to do before i hit the end of the road.

  1. sky diving - i have a bit of acrophobia, but i love the sensation of falling down. so i definitely want to try the ultimate form of fall...

  2. perform on stage with a rock band. i want to be the wild singer - too much Nana and Shiina Ringo...

  3. owning a firearms collection. i want a Smith& Wesson, M-16, AK-47, Uzi, flamethrower and rocket launcher.... HAHAHAHAHA!

  4. build an empire of bookstore chains - yes, i'm a nerd, i know

  5. have the whole collection of Vivienne Westwood items. ALL OF IT

  6. go to L'Arc~en~Ciel, Shiina Ringo, and NIN concerts.

  7. see all the wonders of the world, and ALL of Renaissance art collections.

  8. publish at least a comic of my own.

  9. ride a 300cc bike at 300km/h

  10. be a vampire XD

Sep 13, 2008


i went shopping today, after weeks of not being able to hangout.
targeted items: a pair of sneakers ( converse or airwalk or emily the strange or vans), a pair of wedges/clogs (main point: can be worn with baju kurung and jeans), a clutch and a brooch.

what i managed to get were:

the clutch. cute isn't it?? i have been eyeing the shop for ages. and finally i bought one. this one costs me rp109 000, around rm40. i suspected it's sort of hand-made.

the brooch. a crown, yeah. my current favourite. this one had several brothers and sisters, in tricolor; black, silver and yellow. the black and silver ones are pretty cute, but somehow, i chose this one. there's one that's kinda similiar with Vivienne Westwood logo..wonder why i didn't buy that....oh, and this was the first item i bought after 2 hours in the mall. gah. price, rp45 ooo, around rm17.

next i bought a bracelet. yeah, it wasn't in the original want/need list, but what the heck. besides, i don't have blue bracelet. i need blue bracelet! and it's only rp23 000 (rm 8.50)!!

desperately need a new pair of sneakers. my mcky sneakers had already seen better days, and i absolutely hate my adidas tennis shoes. i got blisters while wearing it! WITH socks!!! argh!! too bad the smallest size for sneakers here is 38. and i'm a 36. geram! gigit karang!!

the last thing i bought today was a pair of white wedges. talking about shoes, i spent nearly one hour at the department store just to find a pair of shoes, but to no avail. argh. kesian mad ngan azree, in the end, they went ahead of me. hahaha! this baby is a marie claire, and priced only at rp179 000 (rm 66).

total expenditure today: rp 356 000/rm 131.45

pretty good bargain, eh?

p.s: crappy pictures due to my crappy photographing techniques. the lines were due to me dropping me phone too many times...

Sep 10, 2008

Sep 9, 2008

Thank You

Thank you for being there for me.
Thank you for putting up with my selfish behaviors.
Thank you for giving me a peace of mind.
Thank you for comforting me.
Thank you for understanding.
Thank you for not pushing me around.
Thank you.

even if I write a thousand thank yous, it wouldn't be enough to convey my feelings.

once again.
thank you.

Sep 4, 2008

Book Review: Not Without My Sister

this book i read during lectures.
that's how boring block 13 lectures are, with all those statiscal words like internal validity, confounding validity, sample size, etc.

on to the book!

author: Celeste Jones, Kristina Jones, Juliana Buhring
Publisher: HarperCollins Entertainment (2 Jul 2007)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0007248067
ISBN-13: 978-0007248063
when i saw Erica reading this book, i know i must try it. mainly because it got lovely cover (yeps, i'm a sucker for pretty book cover). the blurb doesn't tell much, but it summarize the whole story beautifully.

This tell the true stories of three sisters, on how they survived and freed themselves from a cult (Children of God, later known as Family of Love, and now the Family International). They were physically and sexually abused, with no one to help, and no way to run from it.

The key character of the story was their father, Christopher Jones aka Simon Peter, whom all the sisters yearned affection for. his reckless behaviour of leaving his children on the hands of the Family members resulted in various sexual encounters for the sisters as early as the age 6 years old. One of their blood-sibling (the Family considered all members as brothers and sisters) died after long years of drug addiction due to dismissal from him (he said that he had a new family and would not care for her since she's in the "System").

The Family lived on the whim of a narcisstic leader, David Berg, also known as Moses David or Mo for short. his words are the rules they lived by, and they memorized every single words that came out of his mouth. he communicated with his followers through series of letters known as Mo's Letters, which will set up new rules, or new whatever. he was the one who said that sharing is loving, and by loving, he allowed the Family to have sex with anyone and everyone as sex is the ultimate form of love.

Later as Mo died, his "wife", Karen Zerby risen up, and appointed herself as the Queen Maria. she too, continued his legacy of free sex, though not as free as during Mo era. during Maria's time, the Family started facing bad press due to confessions and reports from the second generation of the Family, who ran away and quit the cult. many of the second generation have mental problem and one of the Royal Family members , the prince, Davidito, committed murder-suicide, which shaken the Family system.

that's roughly what happened in the Family from the three sisters views. the Family ways were told mostly from Celeste and Juliana's side, since they were in the cult until their 20s while the System side was told by Kristina, since her mother quitted the cult and brought her along when she was 12.

Celeste and Juliana didn't have much life in the Family. they were treated like goods, and when there's trouble, they'll be shipped to another Family base around the world (eg, Japan, Uganda, etc). they never knew the address of the house they were staying, never had an identity of their own. names could be change in an instant, it had no meaning, no significant what so ever. after encountering major events in their life, they decided they had enough and wanting to leave the Family.

orange kite says: scary!!! all those child abuse stories... it makes me feel really grateful of my life. lost childhood was something that cannot be found again. i rarely read these kind of books because, well too depressing to begin with, and i am depressive enough for myself. but for the nice story and not making me feel stupid, i give this one a 9/10.

Sep 3, 2008

For Something Less Dark

Okay N.K, this is my less dark entry of the day.. XD

Rules :
1. Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.
3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.
4. No tags back!!

  1. all my stuffs are males. eg: takuro the guitar (named after Takuro the guitarist of Glay), kentarou (or ken-chan for short) the blue scooter, ritsu the beloved laptop (named after a really cool guy in a manga), kouji the dead fish (isk...), Les Miserable Marius the golden bear (named after Marius of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles, and because i was miserable when i bought him).....

  2. i always think i was born 10 years too late. sometimes 40 years too late. i so wanna experience the music scene during the 70's till late 90's. they got rockin' rock artists back then. oh, terase sangat orang tuanya saya!

  3. i was a notorious flirt back in intec. i don't think i flirt that much now. hahahahaha!!!

  4. i wanted to pierce my tounge badly. the only thing prevented me from doing so is the thought of my mom yelling at me. haihhh..

  5. donald strongly influenced my music preferences. before knowing him, i'm more into lighthearted pop songs even tho i dabbled a bit in the rock music scene ( mainly for L'Arc~en~Ciel). he's the one responsible for the Nine Inch Nails, dark lyrics, and experimental sounds.(and the dark brooding thoughts)

  6. i hate heat with a vengeance and i can't stand cold weather. so where should i live?

  7. all of my favourite colors have a significant. be it ridiculous or not, but each means something to me. so when you see me in purple, appreciate the punk rocker wannabe in me. if it's white, well, i just perasan i'm being sweet. wahahahahhahaha!!

  8. i have this weakness for cute things. i really like cute things. tho not much available in my room, due to my inability to keep my own room neat. too much cute things = too much dust collected. so i just gave up before even thinking of buying. hahahaha!

  9. my extended family from my mom's side called me Sayang when i was still a kid. even now, my closest cousins still call me Sayang. and i still introduced myself as Sayang to them. urgh.

  10. the name rean was given by my friend on a whim. i went by the name rai back then, but this girl told me that rai wasn't glamourous enough, and raihana was just a mouthful. hence the name rean. there were several versions of spelling (eg, ray-ann) before i decided on the simpler version of r.e.a.n.

  11. i'm still on the prowl for great rockers. until now, my great rockers are L'Arc~en~Ciel, Onmyouza, Shiina Ringo, Buck-Tick, The Pillows, Rancid, Stone Temple Pilots, Nine Inch Nails etc

  12. my greatest and biggest dream is to travel the world. alone.

  13. i (not so) secretly hoped to be the greatest rock star on earth. oh yeah!

  14. sometimes i feels like i could just leave everything and disappear. hopefully i will not be that selfish.

  15. my earphones are usually in full blast. but i hate speakers.

bloggers to tag:

aisyah-because i know you'll have a lot to write, and a lot to tag. XD
raje-revenge of the sperm. hahahaha!!
atai-just to give you something else to do
solehah-if you're still blogging
intan-dude!!update more! don't be lazy!

long winding journey

i was checking out my old blogposts. has it been three years since i started blogging??

and my writings had only mature a teeny bit.

i filled my earlier posts with anime, lyrics and of course my daily life. (that was in friendster)
and after a while, i wrote about my j-rock journey (it didn't last long, since not long after i started, i had one year of no internet, and that was in xanga)
and i still writing about my life currently, tho it's not as childish as it used to be. haha! (or is it?)

ah..but life is all about adventures and growing up...

and i can't wait for a new adventure tho i'm dreading the growing up part...

Sep 2, 2008

deciding between the two

i am allowed to have crushes on two guys, am i??

it's not like i'm cheating or anything, since its just a crush..


do make up your mind, girl!

Sep 1, 2008

Ramadhan and MSK

Ramadhan is finally here!

and MSK, is finally over.

despite everything...i had fun!!!
too bad it ended too soon...

Aug 28, 2008

A-Lone-Ly Existence

I love my busy days.
even tho i complain about them too much.
it's when i'm busy i don't have time to think.
and like i said before, thinking hurts me.

i just like being busy. being physically active, going out, thinking about what to do, what to write, whom to meet, really gets me going.
as long as i'm not cooped in my room alone for too long. or being alone for too long.
in the past week, there's rarely a day when i'm alone. there's always someone with me.
either nad, or syazwan, or yan, or anyone.

i really miss school days when i'm never alone.
it's either with aisyah, or mimi, or the basketball geeks.
or with rezuan, or with wan ali.
or just laughing out loud with anet, lie and syeila.
never alone.

or should i say, i never felt lonely back then?

Aug 26, 2008

losing somebody

my friend's only grandmother passed away yesterday morning.
i'm not particularly close to that guy, but i befriended his gang.
he sat behind me during lectures.
we don't really talk to each other, because it seems awkward. i never knew what to say to him.
and we just don't clicked.
he's a bit kerek and all, but he's truly a nice guy.
and he loved his grandmother very much.
at least i knew that much because i caught him talking about his grandma now and then.
and the way he talked about her, well it's just filled with love.

losing somebody is hard. it will never be easy. but after you've done crying, you just have to brace yourself up and pick up the pieces. And move on.

maybe the hardest thing to do is moving on, but, we will try our best, won't we, dude?

anyways, it's not my place to write about it here. i'm sorry.

Aug 23, 2008

my ass hurts

hari yang super penat.
pergi, balik dan pergi lagi.
sampai 3 kali. mengagumi jugakla ketahanan diri hari ni.
hopefully i'll sleep soundly tonight.

oh MSK, cepatla selesai.
dah tak larat nak pegi bantul lagi.
sakit bontot tau naik motor 30 minit!

Now playing: Stone Temple Pilots - Interstate Love Song
via FoxyTunes

Aug 21, 2008


pesal la bila aku dah nak lupakan orang, orang tu jugak yg akan igtkan aku kepada dia?

i'm sick of living in uncertainty, hoping for something that could never be.
when i finally decided to let go, he came back and haunts me.

shitty isn't it?

after ignoring me for nearly 2 years.

i don't give a damn anymore.

Aug 15, 2008

The Great Love Story: Part 2

Slamming her room door shut, Mitch threw herself on her bed, and anxiously opened the letter that simply addressed, To Mitch. Written on an A4 foolscap paper, there’s nothing special about the letter, except the content of it. Holding the dear handwritten letter close to her heart, she wiped the tears that had fallen down and started to read it.

Dear Mitch,

Are you shocked seeing Abel? He looks exactly like me didn’t he? Did you called out my name when you saw him? I think I can imagine seeing your stunned face when he responded. You thought I had risen from the grave, didn’t you? Ha-ha! You still as silly as you were back then, aren’t you? I’m not Lestat you know, even though I tried hard to convince you that I’m a vampire. You don’t really believe that, right? You’re not that stupid, or do you?

Stupid Cain. Dead and still joking. And he knew exactly how I reacted. How I wish to kick his sorry ass, or even stomped on his grave. Grumbling, Mitch continued reading the letter.

It’s been four years since my death. I’m sure what was left of my body at this time are just my bones and teeth. Other parts had gone back to earth, as a part of the big life cycle. My deeds are being judged I’m sure, though I’m not sure how I fared in that part. A lot had happened to me in four years, I think. What about you?

Let me guess. During the first year, you were drowning in depression. You refused to eat, or leave your room. You sealed off all the windows, and painted your room black. You cried until there’s no more tears left of you. Thousands of “things” were written for me, expressing how much you missed me. You tried to kill yourself, but you don’t have the heart to let your family cleaned up the mess.

Or not.

What happened actually was the exact opposite. Instead of being depressed, Mitch pushed herself harder. She smiled more, and lived a “normal” life. Extra lessons were taken; she busied herself with clubs and student body. Projects were done; it was the most productive year of her life. Only one poem was written of Cain. She spoke of him as if he’s still alive. Tears rarely fell, and to her friends, she looked like she’s moving on with her life.

I was kidding about the first year part. I know you are stronger than that. That’s what I respect about you. You can take a beating and get the best out of it. Optimistic is a good thing, you know. Though it doesn’t suit your gloom, doom image. Not that it matters to you anyway, right?

Anyways, it pains me to write this letter to you. Because this shows I know I’m about to die, and that I had lied to you. I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to. I just don’t want to see the pained look in your eyes and the tell-tale puffiness of you’ve been crying. Maybe I’m just being a coward, but I hope that you will forgive me. I only love you too much.


There’s never been a day I did not thank God for letting us meet. You were my savior from day one, despite all those things I’ve done to you. Without you I think I would be in really deep shit. Or died too early. You made me picked up the pieces of my life and built a better one. Helping me be a better person without you even knowing it. Not being judgmental. With you, instead of feeling like my whole life was a huge mistake, it had become one interesting adventures with memorable ups and downs. Heck, you even make my junkie days looked fun! I think you’re the only one that can make grey looks beautiful. By the way, I still hate the color yellow, and that bright yellow shirt you bought me? Well, you’re having it dude, it’s that purple torn-out shirt with yellow underlying. What was left of it was too tattered to wear so I hid it at the back of my closet.

Furious, she took off her shirt and checked the yellow fabrics. True to his words, Cain did use the yellow shirt she gave him on his birthday to make that particular outfit of hers. She didn’t know whether to yell at him or to cry, yelling for mutilating the shirt she had given, crying because she never knew he made this t-shirt himself.

And before you started to get teary-eyes, no, I didn’t make the shirt. I designed it but, Kirk was the one making it. It was his idea to put yellow fabric underlying. So kill him, since it’s not my fault.

Now she did let out a frustrated scream.

The letter was all too similar of her relationship with Cain.

dark thoughts

i hope you'll die.
so that i can be free.

Aug 14, 2008

The Great Love Story: Part 1

Gone for nearly 3 weeks!!

since i'm kinda having a raging headache now, i'll just cheat by posting a story i'm currently writing.
hopefully, i'll manage to finish it. XD

The Greatest Love Story

Ten minutes before class. Frantically Mitch threw all her books into her bag and raced towards her trusted scooter. As the engine roared, she put on her helmet then throttled her way to class. In a typical Mitch’s do-or-die style, she cut through the traffic and arrived just seconds away before 8 am.

Thank god she’s not the last to arrive. There would be more after her. Relieved, she climbed up the staircase to the lecture hall before slumping away on her usual seat. Save for now. Hollering at her girlfriend Lizzy, who had just showed up, her day started as usual.

Two hours later, totally sapped out of her life force, a zombied Mitch appeared outside the hall. Her stomach rumbled, reminding her not to linger around, as she was rushing down the stairs chasing after her friends, something caught her attention. Before she can stop herself, she called out.


Cain looked at her and started walking towards Mitch’s direction. Mitch looked in joy and disbelieved, all the while she thought her brain was playing tricks on her. Three long strides and he were standing right in front of her with outstretched hand and a grin.

“Hey Mitch, Cain sent me here. I’m Abel. Nice seeing ya”

First word that flew from her mouth was ‘fuck’. Recovering, she took the offered hand and smiled.

“The mysterious brother. What honor do I owe this visit to? And what crap about Cain sending you here? He’s been dead for 4 years now”

Four long years had gone since Cain’s tragic death. It hurt her still to think about it, not lessening one bit, let alone speak about it. It shown on her face, and quickly she hid it. Cain’s brother or not, this guy is a stranger. No stranger need to know about Cain, nor his death, nor her life after his uncalled departure. Not even his twin brother who looked so much like him and yet so different. Composing herself, she withdrew her hand from the shake.

A rock princess. She looked like it, and she definitely had the life of it. That was how Mitch looked like to Abel. There’s no mistaking the black hair cropped short with streaks of blue and red, leather choker and studded wristband, artistically torn purple t-shirt showing yellow fabrics underneath, tartan skirt and impossibly high platform boots laden with buckles. If that’s not enough, her overly pale skin and excessively made up eyes definitely convinced him. It made him wonder whether she purposefully avoided sunlight just to achieve the look. Slung on her shoulder was a big, shiny, purple bag with simple clean lines to balance the chaos of her clothing. She’s not beautiful, but not easy to miss. Different from everyone, it’s a wonder if she even belonged there.

Abel grinned to hide his distaste of her choice of style. He started to get irritated with his deceased brother for forcing him to make that promise. What he thought would be simple thing, turns out to be not so simple after all. Still he grinned for Mitch to see with her distrustful eyes. Searching his pocket, he pulled out a letter and gave it to Mitch.

“Cain asked me to pass this to you. Sorry it took four years. He specifically asked me to give this to you four years after his death. Why he wanted that I don’t know. I’m just the messenger.”

Snatching the letter out of Abel’s hand, Mitch eyes watered. She hold the letter like a fragile parchment, a rough handling can destroy it to pieces. Furiously saying thank you, she cannot stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks. Black stained her face as she ran to her scooter, leaving Abel without even saying goodbye. She wanted to hurry back to her room and read the last words of Cain to her.

Abel turned away and left. His work for now is done.

Jul 16, 2008

things i do at home

i'm back!!
seriously, i'm such an internet junkie. i mean, despite of knowing how crappie dial-up is, and it's ridiculously charged, i still going online. but yeah..whatever!

anyways, what i do at home.

first thing that i did after went back home is sleep. hahaha! i reached home around 11pm, and yeah, i don't sleep much the night before either. call it "post-exam perasan free symptom". refusing to sleep due to too much excitement of finishing the exams. i'm always like that. whenever i'm too excited about something, or too nervous, i'll refuse to sleep. or prolonged my waking time as long as possible. because even if i try to sleep, my brain will still be in fifth gear mode, thus making it frustrating for me.

then i spent my time in front of the telly, trying to transform myself into a walrus. but i didn't succeed anyway, due to conscience and shiina ringo. THANK YOU SHIINA!!! that, and spending 27 hours of my life playing final fantasy 10. i know, i know i'm several years late of playing that game, but hey! we (as in my brothers and i) can only afford to buy ps2 after ps3 came out okay!!!

and i did a little bit of houseworks, like sidai baju, masak nasi, lipat baju, sapu lantai, and a little bit of kemas rumah. and for those who still do not know, i CAN'T cook, even if it to save my life. and i'm not really into doing houseworks. apa nak jadi aku neh pun tatau...

what else?
oh yeah, i watch sinetron at 3pm everyday without fail, if my brother's around. yeah, he's kinda big fan of the sinetron "anakku bukan anakku". it sucks big time, really, like most sinetron, with unrealistic situation, and presence of devils, amnesiac happening like it's on sale, evil housekeepers trying to steal the wealth of their masters..the usual things. and i'm forced to watch this. how i suffer... urghh.... i don't even watch sinetron when i'm in jogja, but i'm watching it now back in malaysia??how ironic. and at 3:30pn, i'll have to endure another crappy drama: Sunsilk Impian. serious shit crappy!! the main character is so childish, and yet, she's already working! and 80% of the casts tak reti berlakon. oh, about the main character? she's damn gedik. aaaaaarrrggghhhhhhhh!! the main reason why i really, really, REALLY hate the drama Puteri.
why oh why am i tortured by these things on telly???

and finally, i get my fat ass out of the house yesterday to watch WANTED. it was AWESOME!!! yeah, not much of plots either, but the explosions, the actions! like momotarosu of kamen-rider den-o like to say, "it's a climax from the beginning to the end"!!! i think, after i left the cinema, i actually felt drained, due to much excitement. hahahaha!

and i finally finished reading two books that i started earlier this year: the Labyrinth and the Bourne Ultimatum. about the Labyrinth, reviews that i read about this book (from the book itself, not on the net), says that it's better than the Da Vinci Code. the book touched the same topic as DVC, the Holy Grail. but to me, after strenously reading this book, all i can say was, there's no way this book is better than DVC. nuh-uh. no way. at least DVC is logical, this book, well, this book basically says that the grail can grant long live, as one of the characters of the book, Sajhe, who lived for 800++ years. and also Harif, this dude i think maybe lived for 700++ years. is there anything like that in DVC??? NOOOO!!! haha!

one word for Bourne Ultimatum: MUST READ. okay, that's two words. i didn't watch the movie, i wasn't a big fan of Matt Damon back then, but what i got from the book was, in Bourne Ultimatum, Jason Bourne is already 50 years old. he's an old dude, unlike Damon. and Saint Alex of Conklin? well, he's just 10 years older than Bourne. he's my favourite character. who wouldn't love Saint Alex, the Crown Prince of the black operations, whose gospels being used as guidelines over and over again. the legendary dude that crosses the Soviet Union terrains back to US Army camp alone asking for a bottle of bourbon....[insert a dreamy sigh with look of love here]

all those, and tons of sleep. i think i might die due to sleep overdose someday..
until then, i'm gonna sit back, relax, and enjoy my holiday ride before start panicking again...

Jul 6, 2008


ooooooooohhhhhhhhhh YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!


i think i'll be off the blogging world for one month.
no net at home.


Jul 2, 2008


the world is getting more and more ridiculous everyday.
just today i received a friendster message saying that there were cases of women being kidnapped and murdered from their own cars.

and the rape cases? don't get me start on it. guys putting on drugs in drinks so that they can rape the girls. not to mention innocent school kids being raped just because they happened to be alone in the route they frequently used.

breaking and entering of houses in the middle of the day, making it looks like the owner is moving out, kidnapping pre-school children for no apparent reasons..

no where is safe anymore. not even our own home.
incest rapes, family killing each other.
it's scary.

we are united under one terrifying religion: MATERIALISM
for the blessings of money we are willing to do anything, even selling our souls to the devil.
for our own sickly hedonistic wantings we are willing to sacrifice our morals.

Oh Lord, save us from "wahan"...

Jun 29, 2008

doing tags during exam

i'm running away from notes.
the PILES of notes that's waiting to be read and understood and memorized.

now i'm being tagged by haneef, and since i desperately need to get away from that thickly-bound notes, i'm doing it.


TAG #1
The rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
3. Tag eight people at the end of this post and list their names.

Eight random facts about myself

err... herm..

1. i like to do silly diets.
for example:
rean's one week tofu challenge (which i quit after 3 days)
rean's one month no rice challenge (i think i succeed in this), and not forgetting
rean's rp 10 000 a day challenge (which never succeed! XD)

2. i don't like watching anime even though i'm a manga buff
some just disappoint me so. others well, if i can read 2 volumes in 30 minutes, why should i watch an episode in the same amount of time?

3. i hate eating alone. if i had to eat alone, i'll eat while watching tv.

4. my favorite color changes as i grow up. it was BLUE when i'm in grade school, GREEN in high school, then it run amok, green, brown, purple, yellow, orange. hehe.

5. trying unsuccessfully to learn guitar. T-Tv

6. kappa costs me rm80. and i love him so. KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF HIM, RAJE!

7. a certified procrastinator. RAWR!

8. i like vegetables but i had to force myself to eat fruits.

TAG #2
Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question to make it a total of 20 questions.

1. What do you want the most now?
finish reading my notes

2. If you can have one more dream come true, what would it be? choose one: cure the environment from global warming and pollution, a cure for cancer, end wars and violence..
end wars and violence. meheh. me hates fighting.

3. What are you afraid to lose now?
iman, family and friends

4. Do you believe in being in love forever?

5. If you meet someone you love, would you confess to him/her?
yeps. if i can muster the enough courage.

6. What would you do when you're feeling down and depressed?
listen to music, smash things, and if it's bad enough i'll self mutilate

7. Which type of person do you hate the most?
mean girls. hahaha. honestly? people who look down on others.

8. Do you cherish every single of your friendships?
most of them, yeah.

9. Do you believe in God?

10. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
what ever i have now

11. Do you find it necessary for you to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
nope. can't be bother to be tied down in an uncertain relationship.

12. What do you want your friends to be like?

13. What kind of friend do you hope to be in your friends' eyes?
a crazy one.

14. If you can have a change, which part of your character would you like to change? bad habit to think too much

15. Would you die in order to save the ones you love?

16. What would you do if you've lost everything in one shot?
i'd rather not think about it

17. What would u do if your 'friends' are not really your friends anymore?
make their lives as miserable as i can.

What do you see yourself as in the next 5 years?
a happily married woman. hahahah

19. If you can be a super hero who would you be? (this is my question)
herm..seriously i just want to have the brains of Kindaichi Hajime. okay, he's not a super hero.

20. What are your most poignant/memorable childhood memories?
the journey to visit my grandmother (dad's mom) in Terengganu.

1. raje
2. aisyah
3. atai
4. obefiend (just for the sake of it)
5. nad
6. intan
7. tawel sensei
8. jamie.

Jun 28, 2008

what's with?

is holding a cigarette considered as the in thing now?
even when you're not smoking?

and what's with the picture of "alcohol in the glass"?
even when it's just coke and you don't even drink?

just stating my thoughts here.

Jun 27, 2008

i only write sad poems

i only write sad stories
not exactly tear-jerkers
but just a few self pity
poems to add more misery

when i'm being pathetic
writing is therapeutic
like some drug synthetics

i only write sad stories
my words only flow
in place of overpriced tears
easier this than that

pre exam stress mode

i'm hating exams more and more.

why not?
exams are usually the only time i have enough time to think.
and thinking is not what i want to do lately.

thinking scares me, hurts me even.
and i'm afraid of the hurt.

a lot of things hurting me lately.
and lately referring to two years back.
more like two-and-a-half-year back.

and when i am left alone, with too much time in my hands, i tend to think.
thinking and reminiscing.
which will lead me to self loathing, and regrets.
eventually tears will fall.

ought to save myself.
i know i should grow out of it.
but how do you forget someones you really love?

Jun 24, 2008


i'm doing something to piss off somebody.
hopefully it won't backfire on me.

and the saddest part now is that, i'm left all alone by both of my friends.
plus exam is just around the corner.


ps: waaa...cutenyer jern!!!

Jun 20, 2008


skang ni aisyah and raje sedang lepak ngan aku.

memang best giler, sebab kitorang memang sekepala.

and perangai SANGAT sama.

oleh sebab kesamaan perangai ni laa aku sangat, sangat risau kat diorang neh.

contohnye arini diorg keluar nak balik malam tak inform aku langsung. aku pun paniklaa melampau sampai pegi carik diorg kat malioboro ngan syazwan skalik. mamat tu pun panik skali gak.

sumer tu gara-gara aku tak dapat call phone raje, and dia pun abis kredit.

last last dapat tau yang diorang PERGI TENGOK MOVIE TANPA AKU.


tapi jern kata sama je kalau aku ikut, nanti aku pun ilang sekali. hahahaha! XD

muka-muka penjenayah tegar...kesalahan, buang sampah dalam longkang...

Jun 18, 2008

Jom pegi Jakarta lagi!!!

i went to jakarta again.
this time with aisyah and intan.

from left: aisyah and intan

the best part about this jakarta trip was we had a very cute driver which is Intan's younger brother.

the brother, aka the driver: Arlingga

which we bully kinda mercilessly with our gay jokes, and my insensitive comments.

anyway, if you come to jakarta, again i said, you must visit the malls.

Intan and her obsession, cat

latest mall open was the Grand Indonesia.
and we went there.

it was a picture heaven!!!
there's theme at each area; victorian, china town, old japanese, london street... cool giler!!

victorian highway...with love..ngahahhaha!!

oh, aisyah bought a prada.

and i just love salvatore ferragamo shoes!! by the way, i don't understand why the sales girl thought i could afford to buy a rp7.9 mil shoes even after 30% discount. hermm...

and yeah, ate JCo three days in a row sampai rasa muak.

mangga dua is THE place to be to buy pirated dvds and imitation handbags. a dvd costs around rp5000, which is around rm1.80, dirt cheap. basically mangga dua is 4 malls interconnected with each other via several bridges. it's something similar to the low yatt, sungei wang and time square area. but bigger and better. muahahaha!! you can find everything in mangga dua, or, like intan said,

you can go to mangga dua naked and came back fully clothed, accessoried and with a car.

i even went to jakarta fair.
correction, i went to jakarta this time to go to the jakarta fair.
but it was B.O.R.I.N.G.
dahla we have to pay for the entrance.
thank god we went with Intan's family, and gratefully, her dad paid for our entrance tickets. THANK YOU INTAN'S PARENTS!!!

orang durian at Jakata Fair

oh yeah.... ada doraemon kat plaza semanggi!! not only doraemon, the whole gang were present! ngehehehe! jangan jeles...XD

giant, sinyu, doraemon, nobita and shizuka

by the way, i didn't write about the places we went in chronological orders. har har har har.

for more pictures and the other side of the story, boleh la visit blog aisyah here...

Jun 11, 2008

bandung trip with aisyah

i did this just to spite raje.

i went to bandung with aisyah on the 5th of June 2008. on the day she arrived at Adisucipto airport of Jogjakarta.
we took a 9pm train to bandung, and arrived there around 6 am. early.

and then we took a cab that cost us around rp120k to Jatinangor to see

a. my ex-classmates whom i haven't saw for nearly two years (especially fairuz and ali)
b. adib murshidee, aisyah wants to see him.

since Jatinangor was hell far from the town bandung, we decided to go back to bandung and rent a room at a hotel, Puri Gardenia Hotel (rp220k per night). and that trip back also cost around rp120k.

the friday, first day we arrived, was boring. i was even thinking about buying a ticket back on saturday night, which thank god i didn't do.

first day activities:

1. jatinangor
2. buy train ticket
3. went to totally lame factory outlet
4. went to BIP mall, okaylaa kot.
5. went back to hotel and slept

second day was much better. we went to pasar baru, a place a lot like pasar payang in terengganu or pasar siti khadijah in kelantan. lots and lots and lots of textile, kain batik (aisyah bought a few), baju, kain kebaya (aisyah bought a few too), kain buat seluar (i did buy enough to make two pair of slacks), kain alas meja (i bought one for my mum), etc.

third day we went to jalan dago, pegi factory outlet...
bought myself a vivienne westwood imitation t-shirt. wohoo!! jangan jeles raje!!

now i'm writing this blog from my friend's house in jakarta.

(seriously evil mode on).

ps: entry tak best langsung sbb penat and takde idea. nntilaa upload pictures.
pps: raje nak datang tak lama lagi...yay!!

Jun 3, 2008

Book Review: Tuesdays with Morrie

a proper book review after two months of not doing it properly.
i totally skipped during April, and May saw me reading romance novels.

i know this is old, but what the heck, here it is:

Tuesdays with Morrie
author: Mitch Albom
Publisher: Broadway
Language: English
ISBN-10: 076790592X
ISBN-13: 978-0767905923
First book i read from Mitch Albom was The Five People You Meet In Heaven. the story's about life after dying. about retrospecting the life you've had and what actually that you've learned from it. but i'm not going to talk about that book. today i want to talk about Tuesdays with Morrie.

i'm never one to investigate books i'm about to read. a review from a friend, a great cover, an author/authoress i recognized, all these (or one of those) are enough for me to pick up a book and read it. so when i read Tuesdays with Morrie, what i have in mind was "this is a fiction story about an old guy who is dying". but what i think about the book isn't important now.

i like the moral of the story. of how Morrie refused to study medicine, law and business because he didn't want to manipulate people. i always think that a doctor's duties may be not as noble as we think, because we make a living out of other people's misery. never a good thing. and of how he said that to live happily you have to interact with people, to have communication, to have relationships. and i think that's true too.

ait. other topics discussed in the book are "regrets", "feeling sorry for yourself", "death", "family" and a few others.

this book defies most of the materialistic cultures we lived by today. it says things like, prioritize things that is really important to you; money isn't everything in life; it's okay not being able to do everything; and many others. for me, this book is better than any self-help book. i hate self help books because they made me feel helpless. and stupid (i know, i know, i have denial problem).

this is a true story about a man's perspective about life.
a light reading with a heavy input.

orange kite says: i have mixed feelings when reading this book. i still have problems dealing with deaths. especially dying because of disease-related problems. somehow this book help me get through it a little bit, and didn't make me feel so bad about myself. so, for not making me feel like i'm the most evil person in the world, i'm giving a full 10/10 for this book.

Jun 1, 2008

mysterious story from a scooter-rider.

I'm not so sure what happened today. it all started normally; i woke up, took a shower, and dressed for class. and as usual class went uneventfully, a few lectures and a couple of lab works. my classmates looked bored as they normally did, some of them even fell asleep during class. i think the only thing that's different today was the sky turned green.

funny i'm the only one noticed that. when i asked my friends, they all looked at me in a weird way. but then that always happened. not too unusual there. come to think about it, i only realized that the sky's turning green when i was riding my blue scooter home. there must be some connection with riding scooters and seeing green skies. however my other scooter-riding friends didn't even see it. hence earning me the weird stare that i mentioned earlier.

let me describe how green was the sky today. at first, it was blue. but then suddenly the color morphed. it was like looking at a vast ocean from the beach, where the nearest part to you is bright blue and as it goes further and further away from you the color changes from bright blue to something darker. and at the end of the horizon, it turns into emerald green. it was beautiful. breathtakingly so. it felt like i was riding my scooter across the ocean. exhilarating. and then the fun stopped. after 10 minutes of "riding across the ocean", the beautiful green-colored sky became murkier. darker and uglier the color turned, like somebody added black ink and mud into it. scarier. and my pleasant walk at the ocean turned into something out of a horror movie. or my worst nightmare. suddenly i'm treading at the deepest, darkest swamp forest, and the swamp was mocking me, calling me into it. which was not a good thing, i guess. swirled and swirled, a vortex appeared. from the darkest part of the sky, it grew bigger and bigger, sucking everything and anything around it.

everything came to a halt.

that's when i realised, i'm in the hospital, with multiple fractures, 32 stitches, and a disfigured face.
i swear, today did start normally for me.

May 30, 2008

saya kacang yang merbahaya

this week we're studying about obstructive and restrictive disorders of the respiratory system. i don't really understand the difference between restrictive and obstructive, but i do know that both contribute to breathing difficulty.

back to the title, kacang yang merbahaya.

in obstructive disorders, there's a foreign body type obstruction. foreign body can be categorized into two: organic or inorganic (or the old one "vegetable and non-vegetable", why vegetable don't ask me). organic usually food, and inorganic usually something like coins, or pins or marbles, or razors, or whatever non-food thing that people sometimes shoved into their throat.

take a guess, which one is more dangerous, organic or inorganic?

since i can't hear your thought from in front of my pc, i'll just give my own guess. for me it's inorganic. yelaa, mana taknya, bayangkan kalau tercekik butang baju... tak ke haru jadinya.. but friends, that's where i'm wrong. the dangerousness of the category is not whether the foreign object is big or not, it's just which one is more frequent than the other. so, if you're talking about frequency, organic stuff proves to be more dangerous since we eat everyday, at least once a day. higher chances for food stuff to block our respiratory system. atau kata mudahnya, lebih senang tercekik tulang, dari tercekik butang. wahahaha.'s not funny, i know.

which food item that has highest frequency of blocking our airway?yeps, it's the nuts. and the sub species of it, peanuts, hazelnut, almond, kacang goreng, kacang botak, kacang dalam tin, kacang rebus etc etc. the biggest nut i've seen is only around 1.5 cm long (almond). not that big. and how big is a peanut minus the pod? around 0.3 cm maybe. or half a centimeter. small. this small peanut had once killed an A&E patient in the hospital near my campus. just because it got stuck in between the vocal cord. he died on his way to the x-ray room to be x-rayed. it's a very horrible death, i'm sure. dying of suffocation, cyanosis will occur, and you'll look blue. not helping that you can't talk and keep holding your neck trying to get the peanut out of your airway...

so, what's the moral of the story here?
the moral is (tanya sendiri, jawab sendiri, ini adalah sindrom syok sendiri), no matter how small a thing is, if it's placed in the right position, at the right time, it can change the world. small things, like throwing your trash at the correct place, don't spit in public area, washing your hands after using the toilet, don't bitch behind other's backs, be polite to everyone you meet, really do change your world. for example, washing hands after using toilet can prevent you from getting Hepatitis A, cholera, worm infection, and that gross feeling on your hands. not spitting in public can help preventing the spread of common cold, cough, TB, or whatever bacteria that you have in you. YOU can change the world by doing small, good deeds.
tak payah nak buat yang besar-besar. like creating a machine to stop ice in Antarctica from melting. just do simple things like, switching of the lights when you don't need it, stop open burning, recycle, etc etc.

at the end of the day, be careful while eating kacang goreng. remember, it can kill you.

May 29, 2008

The Amateur Transplants

a friend of mine gave me the youtube link to a song of this duo, The Finals Countdown. and it's horrifyingly terrible. not the band, but the depiction of finals exam for medicals students. like the lyric says:

Haem firm,
Paeds firm,
Psyche, surgery,
Rheumo, ortho,
So much stuff you need to know,
Learning drugs is so much stress,
You memorise the BNF,

Public health, public health,
What the fuck is public health?

Stuff that you need for finals,
It's all stuff that you need for finals,
It's all stuff that you need for finals.

and that's just part of it..haha!
this band is basically a duo of doctors from Imperial College, London doing parody songs, mostly dealing with the medical subjects. and written in a funny way. my favourite songs from this band beside The Finals Countdown,

are The Drug Song


Eternal Clerking

and Yellow (yeah, it's about a yellow fever patient)

oh, mind the thick British accent, strong language and filled to the brim with British humor. Medical terminologies are used in a maximum content in their songs, but it's okay if you don't get it. just ignore it. and don't use the Eternal Clerking song to diagnose intestinal bleeding, the song is totally ridiculous.
and while we're at the medical world parody, enjoy a song from Bowser and Blue (a comedian duo), Colorectal Surgeon:

ps: to my classmates, you can get the videos of this band from me.

May 28, 2008

all the good things had to come to an end.....

two words to start this post:


after months of planning and all the works, for me, Permai 08 was a success. well, i said for me, because i only came for the second half of Permai. i missed the mini-outbound sesatness, and the first part of controversial module. is it a good thing or a bad thing? hermm...

the most interesting part for me was meeting all the Malaysian girls from other places such as Makassar, Malang, Bandung, Surabaya and Jakarta. not to mention, i got to pester Farid for like a brief 10 seconds. which is good, because he's currently studying in Bandung. hahaha! that guy must be saying grateful prayers everyday for not being in the same university as me, since i really like to annoy him...XD

the delegation from Malang and Makassar did some sort of slide show presentation to show us how cool their places are. two words, REALLY COOL. especially Malang. they have a campus filled with greenery (which is like hell, pretty!), the place doesn't look dusty, the sunrise at Bromo mountain is definitely a scene from a beautiful painting, and it doesn't look humid at all over there! one of these days i'm gonna pack my bag and travel to Bromo....

as for the Makassar girls, a few of them are acquainted with my girl Aisyah, since they were from the same college, KMB. they said i'm like her, didn't know that! i know we're like leech when together, but wow, for someone i didn't know to actually say i'm a bit like my own best friend is like one of the greatest compliment i can ever get! haha!yep, the girls had scored a point from me, which in turn made me willingly accompanied them for shopping at one of the most packed, and bad ventilation market in jogja, to buy souvenirs namely kain kebaya. even willingly walked with them the whole road of Malioboro looking for other souvenirs like craft handbags, sandals, and t-shirts. for those who know how packed Malioboro is on weekend, and for those who know how i hate to be squashed in public, please give me an applause for my good deeds. XD

let's have another Permai next year!!!

May 22, 2008

Dear heart

Dear heart,
i know you hurting now, i know you might hate me now
but bear with me for a while, just a second longer
let me go my own way, for another moment
i need to satisfy this curiosity of mine

Dear eyes,
i can see that you are tired of shedding tears, i'm sorry
but be patient with me, just a while more
i want to push my luck, a little bit further
and see what's in store for me

You see
there's a person that i think
might help me heal
more than just a broken heart
but also a broken mind

i don't think he knows it yet
but the presence makes me forget
all the silly things that cloud my mind
and makes me feel happy inside

so dear heart and eyes
even if this person makes me sad
promise me all that you can
not to let hate visit again

May 17, 2008

apple anyone?

exam's over, and i have another one and a half month to fool around with. well not exactly fooling around, but at least less stressful compared to exam weeks.

anyway, a friend of mine introduced me to a singer. she's not exactly new in the scene, she's been around for 10 years now. and in 10 years time, she had become a living rocker legend in Japan. i always wanted to try one of her songs, but somehow never got the time, or the mood for it. but after one youtube video of her and her band, i'm hooked.

her singing voice needs some time to get used to, but after you get pass the adaptation phase, she's one hell of a good entertainer. I'm talking about Shiina Ringo, the artist that inspired NANA, both film and manga/anime. she even have a group of fans that called themselves Ringo Gals who dressed up in her favourite designers' brand (Vivienne Westwood), and wear her signature VW Armour Ring.

She's really really great. her obsession on symmetry brings symmetrical lyrics and duration of her albums. plus she's not afraid to experiment in her music: from rock to jazz to techno to pop and even enka japanese traditional music). she even dabbles in 1940's-50's music style in Papaya Mango, where she sang in two languages, French and English. a song may have three different arrangements, and three totally different video clips. and a case of this is the song Yokushitsu: original version, La Salle de Bain (she totally retitled the song, and translated the lyrics into English and change the arrangement) and the third is where she collaborated with Saito Neko (first half of the song in Japanese, second half in English). her music videos (promotional videos or PVs to the japanese artists fans!), most of them are provocative, and unique. i especially fond of her collaboration clips with Saito Neko, they are such an eye feast. i included one of their work in this entry, it's the last clip.

i know i sounds like a girl in love, but what the hell!! hahaha! before i say things that may make me looks silly in front of shiina's hardcore fans, i better take my leave now. and to end this post, enjoy a few songs from her..

shiina ringo - honnou

tokyo jihen - kurumaya-san

shiina ringo x saito neko - yokushitsu

btw, ringo means apple in japanese XD