Apr 3, 2012

A long entry on boring topic: Stationery (specifically, pens and pencils)

I've always been a stationery freak. Since I was in school, I will change, without fail, my stationery case once a year. I broke this habit once I entered college though, finding that I don't really need much more than just a couple of pens and a correction fluid. I used to love pencils, mechanical especially, and hated that I have to use pens when I entered high school.

But after using pens for so long, writing with a pencil feels, not that interesting anymore. I don't like how it looks gray on paper, and easily removed. Pens, provide darker, more permanent stay on the paper. I've tried a few brands of pens, some of them are gel pens. Favorite gel pen: Pilot brand. G2 was too expensive for me, so I used the cheaper, refillable capped Pilot G1 pen. The problem with gel pen was, I cannot drop it even one bit. Once dropped, you will suffer the wrath of the pen not working. And since the ink is refillable, I always interchange between black and blue ink. When I was still sketching, the gel pen in black was the pen I used during inking.
The Pilot pens that I used to use. I always go for the blue or the black.

I loved using blue pens. I wrote all my notes, and did my home work in blue ink. But when I entered MRSM Jasin (I went to SMK Infant Jesus Convent from form 1 to form 3), towards the end of schooling year (which is form 5), I started using black pen, out of amusement. And then, I went the "Once you go black, you never go back" way. Black inks, all the way. Notes, assignments, doodles were (and are) done in black ink. My pens were always in black, and I had disliked the way blue ink looked like, as I do pencils. I still use pencils for sketching though, and that's the only time I hate to use a pen. I still haven't mastered the art of inking.

Ah, pencils. My all time favourite mechanical pencil, must be Pentel Fiesta 0.7mm in blue. The first one I bought when I was in form 5, and I lost it during the 6months break before starting college. And I will buy, without fail, the exact same model in same colour when the old one disappeared. I accidentally lost the pencil in uni when I was in Yogyakarta, which I replaced with another Pentel mechanical pencil, but in black (not Fiesta model though). I did find Fiesta, but it used 0.5mm lead, just like the black pencil I had, so I didn't buy it. It was impossible to find a 0.7mm pencil, even in art supply shop. Once I'm back for good in Malaysia though, one of the first few things that I bought was another Pentel Fiesta 0.7mm pencil with Pentel 0.7mm lead (which was sold as a set, you can easily find them in Jusco or other stationery shops).

Pentel Fiesta 0.7mm. The Pilot lead is at least 5 years old. 

Favorite eraser? Of course Pentel Hi-Polymer Soft (the green one). For wooden pencils, I love Faber-Castell fancy wooden pencils ( I have the giraffe print pencil), their green-colored pencils for art with various softness, Staedtler Noris 2B pencil (haven't bought this for YEARS, but it's the only pencil I used for answering those pesky MCQs in school), and Staedtler Mars series with various softness. Hardest pencil I will use is 2B. I _hate_ HB pencils. Never liked them. The softest pencil I have used was 6B, and my fingers were messy from the lead. Not the one to be used for daily work, definitely.

Lately, I found myself to write more and more with fountain pen. Yes, fountain pen. I have an old, Lamy Safari pen with medium nib, a memento from my dad. It was his favourite pen when he was alive, and the only pen he used to write all those reports (he was a school teacher, and then was promoted to administrative position). The cap is already cracked, the nib had seen so much use, that instead of medium, it produced really thick almost broad writing. Minus point for that pen was, it uses cartridge. Cartridges are easy, less messy solution to ink, but sadly, the pen that I use, Lamy, only accepts its own propriety cartridges. And I couldn't find a single shop that sells Lamy cartridges (or familiar with the brand) in Yogyakarta. And I think I had used the last ink doodling something insignificant. But because I was dead set on using the pen, I bought a bottle of Parker's Quink Black, stole a used syringe from the operation theater (don't worry, it was only used to administer anaesthetic to a patient thru IV line, the needle never did poke the skin), and I'm set. I refilled the cartridge with Quink Black, and started writing. Sad to say, the ink bleeds through paper, feathers, and absolutely not waterproof. Hence, I only used it for my notes, and not for medical records.

My late dad's pen with Lamy cartridges. Notice the crack on the cap (the black line)

When I came home for good, mom passed me her Sheaffer pen in red, which I don't know what model it is. It still write in thick lines, despite the medium nib. The good thing about this Sheaffer pen is, it's using a piston type filler, which means, I only have to buy a bottle of ink, instead of hunting for cartridges. I still have an old bottle of Quink Black that dad bought me for my dip pen (yes, I have a dip pen with assorted nibs), which I used to fill it. Oh, the Quink I bought in Yogya? I left it there, for fear of spilling during shipping.


Mom's Sheaffer, model unknown. A gift from dad. She doesn't use it though. 

Since I'm determined to use a fountain pen, I bought a "bulletproof" ink online, Noodler's Black. The manufacturer claimed that it is waterproof (the most important thing that I look in ink), fade proof, UVproof and forgery proof. Which means, it should be the perfect ink to be used for medical records. And it doesn't bleed. It does feather with my Sheaffer though.

Noodler's Black ink and Parker Quink Black.
I have to order the Noodler's online, not available in Malaysia.
The Quink must be 7-8 years old, perhaps older. 

Between the Sheaffer and the Lamy (which cap had failed me so many times, staining my beg, and key chain ornament), I prefer the Lamy. It's light, and feels comfortable in my hand. Even if the design has been described as bulky by some, but I like it, more comfortable grip. And since I'm crazy about the Lamy, I bought another one yesterday. For mere RM 65 ringgit. Which is very cheap, considering some shop in Malaysia selling Lamy Safari for a whopping RM 93. My new pen? It's in yellow. And it comes with a cartridge/converter, meaning I can use my Noodler's Black with it. And the cartridge it comes with? It went into the box of Lamy cartridges I recently bought.

My new Lamy Safari in yellow, with the LZ24 converter (it comes with the pen)
Comparison between the pens. Although I use the same ink for the
Yellow Lamy  (most front) and Sheaffer (middle pen), the color is darker
in Sheaffer, but feathers more. Red Lamy (most back) produced the thickest
line, despite having the same nib size as Yellow Lamy. And the nib is black,
not shiny steel, because this one was bought back in 1980's :)

Ah, this end my extra long winded entry. I think this is the longest entry I have ever written so far...

Mar 25, 2012

Tengah Malam Sunyi (Part II)



“Oi! Rean! Dinner jom!”
“Aaaa jap, jap, aku tengah buat keje ni!”
“Ala, jom ah. Lagi setengah jam aku datang”
“Wei mangkuk! Aku tak mandi lagila!”
“Cepat pergi mandila sengal! Dah pukul 7:30 tak mandi lagi, anak dara apa kau ni”
“Wei diam ah! Banyak pulak cerita kau ek!”

Setiap hari. Setiap hari dia menghadap mesej yang sama dari teman baiknya. Membualkan kata-kata serupa. Pertanyaan yang sama, dengan jawapan yang sama, yang mungkin bedanya hanya sedikit. Kasi customize sikit, supaya tak boring. Ayat sama tiap malam: Jom dinner, makan dekat mana. Walaupun berbeza jantina, mungkin kerana sudah terlalu rapat, temannya itu dianggap seperti saudara sendiri. Macam adik-beradik. Biarlah orang nak kata mereka berpacaran. Keluar berdua sampai entah mana-mana. Sampai tengah malam baru pulang. Atau keluar tengah malam, pagi baru balik, mengukur kota Yogyakarta dengan skuter birunya. Tapi memang hakikatnya, dia adalah teman. Yang boleh dia kutuk, dan boleh kutuk dia balik.

Malam itu mereka keluar berdua lagi. Mencari makan malam yang enak, dan bervariasi sedikit dari rutin. Mau makan sedap. Dan murah. Dan itu memang gampang dicari di kota pelajar. Di tempat yang dipenuhi dengan mahasiswa dan mahasiswi dari serata Indonesia, makanan yang murah meriah harga mesra pelajar, mudah dicari. Cuma, harus tau mana yang tidak menyebabkan cirit-birit, mana yang ya.

Dia mencadangkan, ayam vetsin. Ayam goreng tepung, dihancurkan dan dicampur dengan cili padi. Pedas, enak, dan mantap. Masalahnya, mencari warungnya. Pertama kali, dan terakhir dia ke sana adalah bersama teman-teman sekelompok. Menaiki kereta David, walaupun hari siang terang, dia memang menghadapi masalah mengecam jalan. Inikan pula malam pekat gelap, kerana kurangnya lampu jalan. Antara ingat-ingat lupa, dia mengarahkan temannya ke warung Ayam Vetsin yang entah dimana itu…

Mar 8, 2012

Tengah malam sunyi


       Mataku mengantuk. Tapi masih lagi tegar menghadap komputer. Kehidupan kaki internet, memang begini. Siang tidur, malam berjaga. Macam burung hantu. Aku pun memang dah ada eyebags, nick irc aku pun Panda_Eyes. Ha, cocoklah tu. Lepas ni boleh upgrade jadi raccoon eyes. Eh, ke tak payah?

      Timeline Twitter makin rancak. Makin malam, makin laju pula dia bergerak. Malam ni, mereka berborak tentang banjir di KL. Memang Twitter ni sumber berita yang paling pantas, tak payah tunggu tv. Twitter, on. IRC, dengar Gufymike bercerita tentang Haskell di #scum-scans. Lepak di #lurk, ah, merepek #lurk. Kalau tak cerita tentang gaming, mereka akan merepek tentang DFC dan loli. Tak pun melayankan racism thinwhiteduke atau trolling Hildr.

     Aku melompat ke browsing. Walaupun aku ni taik internet, tapi aku jarang browsing berjam-jam. Buka satu website dan biarkan dia di browser berjam-jam selalulah. Website yang aku boleh layan lama-lama macam reddit, irz.de, cracked.com dan 4chan pun bukanlah website yang boleh masuk kategori safe for work. Ok, reddit memang safe for work, tapi subreddits yang aku suka lepak, kebanyakannya… maaf, tidak selamat untuk hidup.

     Jam berdetik, aku membazirkan masa lagi. Buku beratur di samping, menantikan untuk di baca. Air di jag, lebih separuh habis. Aku masih browsing, dengan alasan mencari bahan bacaan. Di luar, gelap gelita. Senyap sunyi pada jam 2. Dan di keheningan malam, aku menjadi teringat masa lalu.

Love


You were there
When I was at my weakest
You were there
When I needed someone the most
You accept my flaws, mistakes, weaknesses
You cherish my virtues, strengths, merits
You make me so happy
I am glad I make you feel the same.

Anger


When fire met fire
It’ll only burn brighter
That’s what I’ve been told
But that’s what I want

I want it to burn
I want a big blast, a bang
Let it burn, and incinerate
Leaving only ashes and dust

Anger
One day, it will consume
All of me

Mar 1, 2012

Warmth



You make me feel like you've given me the Trojan horse
Damn you sly Apollo, why can't you just give me what I want?
Do I have to bear the cold touch of Artemis
Or even the freezing breath of Hades?

You want me to be like Icarus, killing myself over you
Damn  you sadistic Apollo, why can't you just give me what I need?
Do I have to be like the lotus-eater
Or maybe a follower of Bacchus?

Should I just invoke Zeus' wrath?
And Aphrodite's jealousy?
Maybe I should just steal the golden fleece
A night with the Hydra sounds good too
You damn Apollo
Quit this ridiculous behavior
You know, maybe I should just take
That beautiful golden carriage of yours
And make you stay with me

Feb 25, 2012

Cousins

Last night.

My uncle came with his wife, 4 of his children, and 3 grandchildren.
Our home was turned into something filled with people. There's noise, everywhere, and persons all over the place.

It was okay I guess. Although my brothers had to share a room due to one of theirs was used as the guest room. Ah well. At least grandma had fun.

Feb 17, 2012

On the go



I'm currently testing a blog app on my tab. I've been slowly moving to tablet, abandoning my fav machine, the laptop. If it's not for bigger screen, more power and the keyboard, i've left that machine to collect dust already.

Too bad I can't edit on tablet. *sighs*

Smartphones have spoiled me rotten.



Ps: The books I bought, done with 3 on the same day I bought them :s

Feb 13, 2012

Of Cakes and Sunflowers.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.

And all I want is CAKE! :D

Pic Source
Yummy, yummy cake.

Hmm, anyone wants to give me sunflowers for Valentine's? Red roses are so cliche.

Pic Source
Look at those lovely, happy flowers.

Feb 3, 2012

Joy Division

I'm on Joy Division mode.

Blaming it on @zulhelmimalek and @comradenami



Jan 22, 2012

End of another era part 2.

The most memorable year in my life. Third year was awesome. There's a lot of photographic evidence from this year, but I can only fit in a few into a 800 x 600 pixels of canvas.


Running

Your love suffocate me
The cocoon that was warm
Is constricting me now
The bind that was comforting
Is now leaving marks on me

I’m yours I said once
And I truly mean it but your
Jealousy is too much I can’t
Take it
What is cute before had now
Become too creepy

Let me out
Let me out
I don’t want to be trapped
With your love no more

I’m not a fragile girl
That constantly needs you
I’m better than that
Let me go if you can’t take it

Your love is killing me
I’m afraid of you
This is not what we’re supposed
To be

Jan 21, 2012

End of another era.

19th January 2012.

I received my degree, along with it, a title. I'm officially a doctor.

I am, Dr Nur Raihana Nordin, M.D

And we're going to walk down this memory lane together, reflecting on what the hell happened to me, to us during the 5 years and a half in Yogyakarta.

The good times, the bad times, the sad times, the awesome times. I am going to miss late night hanging out. I am going to miss spending hours in coffee shops. I am going to miss riding my beloved scooter. I am, going to miss the company.

I love you. All of my friends. I love you :)


Jan 20, 2012

Tired

I’m tired of this world
Too many things I couldn’t control
Too many things I couldn’t achieve
Too many things I couldn’t accept

I need a break from this world
A getaway from it all
I’m sick of the materialistic ways
That makes the life go round

Shouldn’t it be okay if I’m not pretty?
Shouldn’t it be okay if I’m not rich?
Why should it matter if I’m bloody famous
When my heart is as dark as coal?

The superficial cocoon I created
Is now finally eating me outside in
The values I held highly before
Are now leaving my heart empty

Jan 16, 2012

You

Your face came up
I stare
Flurry of other faces
I waited
You again
I blush.

Shoes

Shoes

Life is like finding a good pair of heels
You’ll have to have an idea
Before you go searching for one
Hunting from shop to shop
Just to find the perfect pair
“This one looks delish, but the color won’t do”
“Ah, this pair! Just fabulous! What? It doesn’t have my size?”
“This one is just too high, I might topple over”
“Oh look at that pretty baby, too bad it’s a hassle to wear”
Then you tried, and tried
Walk in it
Primping
Matched it with your outfit
Then you bought it
Some shoes, are comfortable
Only in the shop
And you despaired, wasting money
On shoes you know you’ll never wear
Others stayed true
And a pleasant to walk in.

Jan 15, 2012

Teddy Has The Cutest Face of Them All






Fuckin' cute

What I did last year


Cheesy Giraffe


Glamorous Zebra


Sweet Chiyoko


Blue Teddy


Ink-stained Usagi


Scary Poppy

More books.



I want more. This is not enough.

My Secret Love

My Secret Love

I pretend not to notice you
But I watched you intensely
I pair you up with everybody
But silently I wished it would be me

I hide my jealousy behind smily face
And my longings behind childish banter
I do everything I could just to forget you
Still you're always on my mind

It hurts to be your friend
I bet it hurts more to be your best friend
I know you see me, but you don't notice me,
At least not the way I want it to be

Oh you are my best kept secret
Nobody knows, nobody even guessed it
Except those I opened my heart to
Not even you, especially not you

Jan 14, 2012

Say Hello.

Hey.
How are you? I’m good over here. Been more than year since I really blogged. I’m sorry, life caught up with me. It wasn’t hectic per se you see, more like; I have no drive to write. None whatsoever. Maybe because I was happy (happy still), or maybe because there’s so much same shit in my life, it’s not worth mentioning anymore.

Reviewing back my entries, why the hell did I blogged for then? I didn’t write anything interesting, nor am I writing anything significant. What are in this blog are just some things that happened in my life, maybe you’re familiar with it, and maybe you don’t. But all in all, it’s just my perspective on things.

I
I lost my words.