the darker side of me

have you ever felt hungry after staring at cadavers?

i do. most of the time.
somehow, studying cadavers (especially the muscles), made me hungry. and usually, i'll take my lunch before anatomy class, and munch something afterwards.

i found neohumans fascinating too. there's been time when i'm obsessed with them, thinking, dreaming, drawing, reading...
maybe because most of the manga/anime that i read/watch deals with the ethical and philosophical part of neohuman, the rationale of them. and i must admit, i'm a big fan of Tsutomu Nihei's works (BLAME!, Abara, Net Sphere Engineer,NOiSE etc), and he drew a lot of neohumans (really like Cibo, Mauve)

in the last 2 years, i drifted into the world of freaks. i began reading manga like MPD Psycho, Leviathan, The Suicide Club, Goth, Angel Sanctuary, Uzumaki, Gantz and the likes of it. killing people just for the sake of making them flower pots (literally), a body made of 5 other people body parts, a club where the members killed themselves intentionally, a boy and a girl fascinated with murders, seriously, i do find them entertaining.

scene from MPD Psycho

taken from The Suicide Club

sometimes i cut myself just to feel how much does it hurt. just deep enough to scar. don't worry, i'm not suicidal. or self-destructive. i just did it out of curiosity. and i never bleed myself purposefully.

my biggest achievement currently: a picture showing surgery of the spine is being done reminds me of spaghetti with a lot of tomato sauce on it. and i salivated. ahh...i wanna watch Saw or Hostel...

strangely, i'm still scared of ghosts.

and oh, i don't really watch horror flicks. i don't know why.

impulse buying

gramedia (a bookstore chain here, equivalent to thai kuang or MPH in Malaysia) had used books sales today.

and i rushed to it after dinner.

spent around rp 226 000 (lebey kuang rm 100)

i bought:

1. The Feast of All Saints -Anne Rice
2. The Silmarillion - JRR Tolkien
3. The Mummy or Ramses the Damned - Anne Rice
4. The Dante Club - Matthew Pearl
5. White Death - Clive Cussler with Paul Kemprecos
6. Trojan Odyssey - Clive Cussler
7. Servants of the Bones - Anne Rice
8. Hannibal - Thomas Harris
9. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

I'm collecting Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles, other than what listed up there, i already have Pandora, Tale of the Body Thief, Blackwood Farm, and Vittorio the Vampire. i can't remember whether i already owned Interview with the Vampire, even though i vividly remembered i've read it a few times before.

Silmarillion is also addition to my LOTR collections. now i'm only missing The Hobbit and The Two Towers (sebab malas nak beli..haha!).

Bought Dante's Club because the murder cases have something to do with Dante's Inferno (been trying to find that book...i've already have Faust, now i want Dante). sounds mysterious, satanic and gory. definitely my cup of tea (or should i say coffee? i don't like tea that much).

I really like Dirk Pitt's adventure in Inca Gold, thus i accidentally bought 2 of Clive Cussler's books. hopefully they'll be as fun as the Incan adventure. go Dirk Pitt!!

Hannibal. well, i like the movie well enough to think that the book will be better. heh.

Sir Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes is what drawn me into the world of detectives and mysteries. it's a classic. it's a great classic. i'd be a fool not to buy it. XD (though i prefer A Study in Scarlet better...)

oh. and i don't think i'll be finishing all these books in 3 months time. since i already have a few books i'm currently reading, and still not finished like The Labyrinth - Kate Mosse (reviews said it's better than Da Vinci Code, i say it lacks the excitement and conspiracy of the Code), Vintage Mystery and Detective Stories - various author (well, it's thick. and a lot of stories. plus old style english. needs time to digest) and a few more i haven't even touch.

heh.

after this i will not have to buy books for another 6 months. XD

random phase

lately i've been going through "sketch" phase, where i sketch anyone that catches my attention, especially when i have a pen/pencil and a piece of paper on my hand.

i do this a lot, and most of it happens during lecture hour.heh. and i found out strange things about me, like, i really like to sketch people in sitting position, i have this shoe fetish (where i drew shoes, any shoes that caught my eyes) and i like seeing other people's arm and forearm, not forgetting hair too.

and there's a guy that attract my pencil because of his long, thin, muscular limbs. i didn't manage to draw that arm in the sketchbook, managing only his hair and his torso. he moved around too much, and i had to alternate between him and the cadaver. the only reason he never entered my lecture sketches was he always sit too far or behind me. and it's not like i'll get the chance of drawing his limbs again...uhuks

man, i'm being weird all over again...

rough sketches

here's a few of my rough sketches.
mind the bad photographing techniques...








tu jelaa...tader mende pun..XD

hirano rants II

hirano kouta is currently my favourite manga artist

. .......

well maybe because i'm in love with "Hellsing" (damn jin for adding another manga addiction in my life...i don't need that you know!!).

i didn't know he drew a hentai (porn) manga before. and the fact that most of his characters in Hellsing are just recycled from his old hentai works. imagine Father Anderson:


was actually a character from his old hentai work titled Angel Dust. and guessed what, one of Anderson's nickname is "Angel Dust" Anderson (other than Regenerator, bla bla bla). Gahhh!!! and that stupid Hirano Kouta had to kill Pip Bernadotte right after he got his first and last kiss from Seras Victoria!!!

i was hoping that the romance between them will progressed...and that baka baka manga-ka had to kill him!!!ARGHHH!!! not to mention Walter betrayed the Hellsing Institute to move on to the darkside.
DAMN!!

there's now two of my favourite characters turned from good to bad (one being Uchiha Sasuke).

YOU BASTARD HIRANO KOUTA!!! GIVE ME BACK PIP BERNADOTTE AND WALTER THE BUTLER!!! making Pip as Seras' familiar isn't enough you know. nor making Walter looking 30 years younger. at least bring him back to his teens. XD

ps: yeah, i'm ranting again...so what??it's titled hirano rants after all....

Diaries, NANA and BLAME!

i don't write diaries anymore.

maybe because i find putting my feelings on paper difficult.
maybe because i seem to be in front of the laptop most of the time, writing in a blog seems almost like a second nature.
and maybe because the best way to hide something is to put it in view.

one bad catch with blog though..i can't put my doodles here...i mean those silly sketches i did when i'm bored, sad, and just have the feeling like i wanna draw.

lately i'm obsessed with NANA, and the art book of Tsutomu Nihei (maker of BLAME!).

why NANA?
because NANA is a tragic story about rock bands and love. and nobody is cooler than Nana herself. not to mention all those pretty clothes and beautiful work of Yazawa Ai (also lots of Vivienne Westwood's stuff).

from left, Ren and Nana

and the music from the anime is simply beautiful. be it Anna Tsuchiya (inspi' Nana/Black Stone) or OLIVIA (inspi' Reira/Trapnest). and since what had happened to me lately, i found companion in songs sung by "Nana", either [rose], [stand by me], or [kuroi namida]..makes me feel as if Nana really understand what i'm feeling..
basically, to understand my way of thinking now, understand NANA. then you'll understand my needs for rock music and cigarettes. well, not cigarette maybe..but definitely rock music and Vivienne Westwood.

and BLAME! is just to satisfy my needs for reading mind-twisting sci-fi manga with beautiful artwork...
to me, currently, no manga-ka with work as detail and as intriguing as Tsutomu Nihei...when I'm down, the monsters of Nihei reflect me. When I'm happy, the adventures of Killy captivate me.

picture showing Killy and his trusted gun

by the way...how did i end up talking bout NANA and BLAME! when it was about diaries first??