Love

You were there
When I was at my weakest
You were there
When I needed someone the most
You accept my flaws, mistakes, weaknesses
You cherish my virtues, strengths, merits
You make me so happy
I am glad I make you feel the same.

Anger

When fire met fire
It’ll only burn brighter
That’s what I’ve been told
But that’s what I want

I want it to burn
I want a big blast, a bang
Let it burn, and incinerate
Leaving only ashes and dust

Anger
One day, it will consume
All of me

Warmth

You make me feel like you've given me the Trojan horse
Damn you sly Apollo, why can't you just give me what I want?
Do I have to bear the cold touch of Artemis
Or even the freezing breath of Hades?

You want me to be like Icarus, killing myself over you
Damn  you sadistic Apollo, why can't you just give me what I need?
Do I have to be like the lotus-eater
Or maybe a follower of Bacchus?

Should I just invoke Zeus' wrath?
And Aphrodite's jealousy?
Maybe I should just steal the golden fleece
A night with the Hydra sounds good too
You damn Apollo
Quit this ridiculous behavior
You know, maybe I should just take
That beautiful golden carriage of yours
And make you stay with me

Running

Your love suffocate me
The cocoon that was warm
Is constricting me now
The bind that was comforting
Is now leaving marks on me

I’m yours I said once
And I truly mean it but your
Jealousy is too much I can’t
Take it
What is cute before had now
Become too creepy

Let me out
Let me out
I don’t want to be trapped
With your love no more

I’m not a fragile girl
That constantly needs you
I’m better than that
Let me go if you can’t take it

Your love is killing me
I’m afraid of you
This is not what we’re supposed
To be

Tired

I’m tired of this world
Too many things I couldn’t control
Too many things I couldn’t achieve
Too many things I couldn’t accept

I need a break from this world
A getaway from it all
I’m sick of the materialistic ways
That makes the life go round

Shouldn’t it be okay if I’m not pretty?
Shouldn’t it be okay if I’m not rich?
Why should it matter if I’m bloody famous
When my heart is as dark as coal?

The superficial cocoon I created
Is now finally eating me outside in
The values I held highly before
Are now leaving my heart empty

You

Your face came up
I stare
Flurry of other faces
I waited
You again
I blush.

Shoes

Shoes

Life is like finding a good pair of heels
You’ll have to have an idea
Before you go searching for one
Hunting from shop to shop
Just to find the perfect pair
“This one looks delish, but the color won’t do”
“Ah, this pair! Just fabulous! What? It doesn’t have my size?”
“This one is just too high, I might topple over”
“Oh look at that pretty baby, too bad it’s a hassle to wear”
Then you tried, and tried
Walk in it
Primping
Matched it with your outfit
Then you bought it
Some shoes, are comfortable
Only in the shop
And you despaired, wasting money
On shoes you know you’ll never wear
Others stayed true
And a pleasant to walk in.

My Secret Love

My Secret Love

I pretend not to notice you
But I watched you intensely
I pair you up with everybody
But silently I wished it would be me

I hide my jealousy behind smily face
And my longings behind childish banter
I do everything I could just to forget you
Still you're always on my mind

It hurts to be your friend
I bet it hurts more to be your best friend
I know you see me, but you don't notice me,
At least not the way I want it to be

Oh you are my best kept secret
Nobody knows, nobody even guessed it
Except those I opened my heart to
Not even you, especially not you

Sunday Morning

Sunday morning at 8
Blankets all over me as I sprawled in my bed
Sun rays hit me right in the face
Irritated, I pull my blanket over my head
Unproductive, lazy day I intended to sleep
All day long

The beep of my phone
Pulled me out of slumber land as I crawled towards it
Just another message from the service provider
Frustrated, I cursed them for wasting my time
Hazy, sleepy day I do not want to do anything
All day long

So I went back into my dreams
Where I’m the king and villain at the same time
Real and imaginary characters overlapping
As I sit and lick my strawberry ice cream in front of
The TV

Before I knew it
My grumbling stomach woke me up
And I realize
“Shit! It’s 6 pm!”

Jin

I went to see you today
Just to confirmed what I felt yesterday
And the days before

I sensed changes in you
But I refused to believe my eyes
Deluding myself with petty illusions

I’m afraid to look at you directly
Because I don’t want to know
What exactly you’re thinking

What signs you gave
I would not understand
Or is it just because I do not want to?

Please don’t leave me
I would not beg directly
I’m too proud for it

Love me unconditionally
I will not ask for it
I don’t think I deserve it

I tried my antiques today
But they didn’t have the same effects
As they did yesterday

Have you really gone far?
Have you really left me?
Have I no meaning for you anymore?

Yet in my heart I know
The answers to my questions
Even if I denied them

The truth I do not want to see
The past I wanted to stay
The future I cannot escape

It’s eating me inside out
Even so, I can't let you go.

utterly hopeless

A heart flutter
My stomach flip
I got this funny feeling
Every time I say your name
Tell me
What is it?

Shattered Windows

Shattered windows
Stared back at me
Pieces of me reflected
On the broken glass
Broken light, color spins
Reaching out I could almost feel
The warmth
Of the sun, laughing
I gather my courage
And walked out the gloomy room
Through the shattered windows

Book Review: The Kite-Runner

Wao~
It has been ages since I've done a book review.....
So, here it is, a review on Khaled Hosseini's The Kite-Runner
I was so touched by the book, I made short notes/poems/things based on how I feel about it

All hail the new style (and probably I won't do it again) of orange review~

you know you like it~ XD
and actually, I've read and done the review since last year...--''





The Kite-Runner
Author: Khaled Hosseini
Publisher: Riverhead; Later Printing edition (January 1, 2005)
Language: English
ISBN: 1-57322-245-3 (first edition, hardcover)
ASIN: B001OLU13K


You and I, we were inseparable
You were the better half of me, the source of my envy
You love me unconditionally and for me,
A thousand times over

You died for me. Like you said you would
But I don’t think I deserved such loyalty.

I know I wronged you
It haunts my dreams
For 20 years I tried to forget you
But you, you still love me

“You were too hard on yourself, you were just a kid”
No, I wasn’t. I could’ve done something.
He has done so much for me

Regrets, how I wish I stood up for you

“I love you, but you steal him from me!”

All those darken nights
All those frightful dreams
All those regretful feeling
All those painful thoughts
Are now gone
Thank you, for forgiving me

As the sky filled with bright colored kites
Shadows lifted from my heart, from my soul
Suddenly nothing else mattered
Cause finally, I’m with you

For you, a thousand times over………….

(All are written based on Amir's feelings on Hassan, his bestfriend)

picture from http://www.sfugradsociety.ca/

Word Jumbo Sales

Today, I’m going to post random things I found in my sketch book. Most of them will not make any sense and I suspect, 90% of them were left hanging by yours truly…

Enjoy~

We are fated to be enemies
Both are on the other side of destiny
Our meeting will bring destruction
To us and the world around

And yet, I can’t stop my heart from loving you

- inspired by Sugar Sugar Rune

I am lost without you
How am I supposed to live without you
Would I betray you if I love somebody else?

- Inspired by life events

You are the epitome of perfection
I wish you’re dead

- My wishful thinking…

This is a set of three

1. And I carved your face
In stone
Just to smash it to smithereens

2. Will it satisfy me to carve out my heart and burn it to ashes?

3. How many times do I have to cut myself just to see it bleed?

All of these are separates, unless otherwise stated

I poured all my dreams in you
When it’s over, I felt blissfully empty

There’s no life worth dying for
If I found it, I’ll gladly gave my soul for it

I hide myself for fame
But it consumed me
I can’t see myself without the other

Bored
I think boredom
Will one day
Finally kill me

You haunt my being
Everything I do, reminds me of you
I can’t even start anew
Somehow, loving you
Destroys me too
Until now, I still chase after you
- Inspired by d.n.j.h

Never you, always me

And I’ll gladly give my love to something
That will not break my heart
- L’Arc~en~Ciel-centric…

darkness consumed me, hence inspired all these words...

From My Window

I looked outside, through my window

Through the curtain

Bars

And glass

Straight ahead there’s a wall

A small tended garden

And my neighbor’s roof.

The sun is shining

Outside

From my window

But in my room

It’s as dark as night

The Pogung Ballad

The unmade bed and very messy room
Nice housemates and late night outings
A best friend with a girlfriend
Camera full of another

Dusty roads and scorching sun
People stare out of curiosity
Same words different meanings
I wanna go home

Some breaking up and another hooking up
And there’s a secret marriage going on
Too much latency it’s frustrating
Feels like screaming out

Cold and windy bright nights
Not a shop opens after 9
Sweating after practices
I’m not into futsal

4 hours-ride on bike to another city
Hanging out in boy’s room till late
A delicacy of home-cooked meals
Never have enough money

Dusty roads and scorching sun
People stare out of curiosity
Same words different meanings
I wanna go home


*So much had happened between the last proper post and now... so i just condensed it in one short poem. boleh ka? XD. I'll prolly explain about it in the next post.. (I hope)

dark thoughts

i hope you'll die.
so that i can be free.

eye-opener

the world is getting more and more ridiculous everyday.
just today i received a friendster message saying that there were cases of women being kidnapped and murdered from their own cars.

and the rape cases? don't get me start on it. guys putting on drugs in drinks so that they can rape the girls. not to mention innocent school kids being raped just because they happened to be alone in the route they frequently used.

breaking and entering of houses in the middle of the day, making it looks like the owner is moving out, kidnapping pre-school children for no apparent reasons..

no where is safe anymore. not even our own home.
incest rapes, family killing each other.
it's scary.

we are united under one terrifying religion: MATERIALISM
for the blessings of money we are willing to do anything, even selling our souls to the devil.
for our own sickly hedonistic wantings we are willing to sacrifice our morals.

Oh Lord, save us from "wahan"...

i only write sad poems

i only write sad stories
not exactly tear-jerkers
but just a few self pity
poems to add more misery

when i'm being pathetic
writing is therapeutic
like some drug synthetics

i only write sad stories
my words only flow
in place of overpriced tears
easier this than that

Dear heart

Dear heart,
i know you hurting now, i know you might hate me now
but bear with me for a while, just a second longer
let me go my own way, for another moment
i need to satisfy this curiosity of mine

Dear eyes,
i can see that you are tired of shedding tears, i'm sorry
but be patient with me, just a while more
i want to push my luck, a little bit further
and see what's in store for me

You see
there's a person that i think
might help me heal
more than just a broken heart
but also a broken mind

i don't think he knows it yet
but the presence makes me forget
all the silly things that cloud my mind
and makes me feel happy inside

so dear heart and eyes
even if this person makes me sad
promise me all that you can
not to let hate visit again