the darker side of me

have you ever felt hungry after staring at cadavers?

i do. most of the time.
somehow, studying cadavers (especially the muscles), made me hungry. and usually, i'll take my lunch before anatomy class, and munch something afterwards.

i found neohumans fascinating too. there's been time when i'm obsessed with them, thinking, dreaming, drawing, reading...
maybe because most of the manga/anime that i read/watch deals with the ethical and philosophical part of neohuman, the rationale of them. and i must admit, i'm a big fan of Tsutomu Nihei's works (BLAME!, Abara, Net Sphere Engineer,NOiSE etc), and he drew a lot of neohumans (really like Cibo, Mauve)

in the last 2 years, i drifted into the world of freaks. i began reading manga like MPD Psycho, Leviathan, The Suicide Club, Goth, Angel Sanctuary, Uzumaki, Gantz and the likes of it. killing people just for the sake of making them flower pots (literally), a body made of 5 other people body parts, a club where the members killed themselves intentionally, a boy and a girl fascinated with murders, seriously, i do find them entertaining.

scene from MPD Psycho

taken from The Suicide Club

sometimes i cut myself just to feel how much does it hurt. just deep enough to scar. don't worry, i'm not suicidal. or self-destructive. i just did it out of curiosity. and i never bleed myself purposefully.

my biggest achievement currently: a picture showing surgery of the spine is being done reminds me of spaghetti with a lot of tomato sauce on it. and i salivated. ahh...i wanna watch Saw or Hostel...

strangely, i'm still scared of ghosts.

and oh, i don't really watch horror flicks. i don't know why.