what say you?
picture by David Paul Morris, taken from here
not exactly finished, there's still a few logos to be added..but hey, the poster's basically done! XD
Mar 30, 2008
final result
final result.
what say you?
not exactly finished, there's still a few logos to be added..but hey, the poster's basically done! XD
what say you?
not exactly finished, there's still a few logos to be added..but hey, the poster's basically done! XD
Book Review: Trojan Odyssey
hooray!!
another Dirk Pitt adventure!
I've fallen in love with Pitt in Inca Gold. Rugged, adventurous marine engineer from NUMA, with his trusty sidekick Al Giordano, so daringly escaped from death, and saving the world at the same time.
okay. I'm not making any sense.
anyway.
the book:
Trojan Odyssey
author: Clive Cussler
publisher: Putnam Adult
ISBN-10: 0399150803 (hard cover)
ISBN-13: 978-0399150807 (hard cover)
ISBN-10: 0141016949 (paperback)
ISBN-13: 978-0141016948 (paperback)
hermmm...
if you've read any Dirk Pitt's books before, you know what to expect. it's the same story being repeated again, but with different setting and different kind of feeling.
the book started with a flashback from a scene of Homer's Odyssey, but with a twist in the plot. For those of you who didn't know what Odyssey is about, well, basically it's about a dude named Odysseus's (or Ulysses in Roman mythology) journey from the Trojan War back home . more info on the guy you can refer to Homer's Odyssey (a must read!) or if you're too lazy, just Google it..
Back to Pitt.
Suddenly i found out that there's two Dirk Pitt in the novel, Pitt Sr. whose sidekick is Al Giordino and Pitt Jr. whose twin sister is Summer Pitt. imagine how confusing i am when i read the book. it's like, "which Pitt are you talking about?!" since both of them have similar characteristics. you really have to focus to know which one is which. by the way, both Summer and Dirk Jr. are the children of Dirk Pitt Sr from his long lost thought-to-be-dead lover. they were introduced in Valhalla Rising.
as usual, there'll be some bad corporation trying to do bad things. this time, its a company called Odyssey. and a bad guy called Specter, who willingly left 1100 people to die when his hotel, Ocean Wanderer (underwater hotel, at the sea) was in the path of a fictional typhoon Lizzie. and there's a environmental crisis of brownish contamination in the ocean's waters, a plot of making the whole Europe undergoes ice age for the sake of selling cheap fuel cell, a female Druidic cult, and some major changes of Pitt Sr.'s life.
it's enjoyable to immerse myself in his adventures. kinda remind me of the Famous Five, Hardy Boys, Three Investigators of my childhood time. but, don't expect something different in this novel. it's a familiar path if you're looking for a walk down the memory lane but with a little extras. however, if you're looking for surprises of plot or anything, avoid this book like a plague. it will not give anything new. you can always guess what will happened at the end.
and Dirk Pitt will always save the day...
(at least he's like Solid Snake XD)
orange kite says: okay. since i'm reading this book during exam week, it's a great stress reliever. because you know what will happen next. it's such a comforting book with great adventure to keep the adrenalin pumping and just enough thrill to make you curious what will Pitt do next. a great read during lazy days, or as a bedtime story. overall i give a 5 out of 10. okay, 3 for Pitt, and 2 for the story..or was it the other way around?
hmmm....
another Dirk Pitt adventure!
I've fallen in love with Pitt in Inca Gold. Rugged, adventurous marine engineer from NUMA, with his trusty sidekick Al Giordano, so daringly escaped from death, and saving the world at the same time.
okay. I'm not making any sense.
anyway.
the book:
Trojan Odyssey
author: Clive Cussler
publisher: Putnam Adult
ISBN-10: 0399150803 (hard cover)
ISBN-13: 978-0399150807 (hard cover)
ISBN-10: 0141016949 (paperback)
ISBN-13: 978-0141016948 (paperback)
hermmm...
if you've read any Dirk Pitt's books before, you know what to expect. it's the same story being repeated again, but with different setting and different kind of feeling.
the book started with a flashback from a scene of Homer's Odyssey, but with a twist in the plot. For those of you who didn't know what Odyssey is about, well, basically it's about a dude named Odysseus's (or Ulysses in Roman mythology) journey from the Trojan War back home . more info on the guy you can refer to Homer's Odyssey (a must read!) or if you're too lazy, just Google it..
Back to Pitt.
Suddenly i found out that there's two Dirk Pitt in the novel, Pitt Sr. whose sidekick is Al Giordino and Pitt Jr. whose twin sister is Summer Pitt. imagine how confusing i am when i read the book. it's like, "which Pitt are you talking about?!" since both of them have similar characteristics. you really have to focus to know which one is which. by the way, both Summer and Dirk Jr. are the children of Dirk Pitt Sr from his long lost thought-to-be-dead lover. they were introduced in Valhalla Rising.
as usual, there'll be some bad corporation trying to do bad things. this time, its a company called Odyssey. and a bad guy called Specter, who willingly left 1100 people to die when his hotel, Ocean Wanderer (underwater hotel, at the sea) was in the path of a fictional typhoon Lizzie. and there's a environmental crisis of brownish contamination in the ocean's waters, a plot of making the whole Europe undergoes ice age for the sake of selling cheap fuel cell, a female Druidic cult, and some major changes of Pitt Sr.'s life.
it's enjoyable to immerse myself in his adventures. kinda remind me of the Famous Five, Hardy Boys, Three Investigators of my childhood time. but, don't expect something different in this novel. it's a familiar path if you're looking for a walk down the memory lane but with a little extras. however, if you're looking for surprises of plot or anything, avoid this book like a plague. it will not give anything new. you can always guess what will happened at the end.
and Dirk Pitt will always save the day...
(at least he's like Solid Snake XD)
orange kite says: okay. since i'm reading this book during exam week, it's a great stress reliever. because you know what will happen next. it's such a comforting book with great adventure to keep the adrenalin pumping and just enough thrill to make you curious what will Pitt do next. a great read during lazy days, or as a bedtime story. overall i give a 5 out of 10. okay, 3 for Pitt, and 2 for the story..or was it the other way around?
hmmm....
Mar 29, 2008
abis exam dan aktiviti lain
oh yeahh!!!
abis exam blok 10.
Alhamdulillah.
tak nak komen apa-apa, sebab selalunya kalau aku rasa senang, result aku teruk, tapi kalau aku rasa susah, result aku jauh lebih teruk. jadi, lebih baik diam. XD
the book that i thought was very bad, turns out to be good, despite the bad English. seriously, that's one crime i'm not quite willing to forgive. due to that, the facts given sometimes very misleading, and that could be dangerous. however, after straining my brain, and flipping through other notes and book, i manage to actually get the essence of what he's trying to convey. to me, the book will be much better help if it's in Bahasa Indonesia. honestly.
okayh.
abis exam.
friday, 28 March, i officially finished my last paper.
it was a hectic day:
lepas tu ada kerja UPIMI yang tak sentuh lagi. padahal ahad ni nak kena hantar. aihh.
harini bangun pukul 1000. penat woo!
barulah terhegeh-hegeh nak buka laptop, cari idea kononya. barulah nak search for images la, minta logo la, apala. siap pergi kampus lagi, nak ambil gambar poster-poster lain kononnya. dasar budak suka buat kerja last minute. bagus betul.
lepas tu, sempat lagi keluar pergi chicken hartz! kerja tak siap lagi, berpoya-poya je lebih. apalaa nak jadi dengan aku neh. ishhh...
thanks a lot to raje yang banyak tolong aku, baik dari segi photoshop, atau bagi idea, and tolong buatkan teaser skali. terima kasih banyak-banyak.
anyways, poster tak siap lagi, and aku tengah blogging.
BERUSAHA.... (baca dengan nada malas nak layan..XD)
abis exam blok 10.
Alhamdulillah.
tak nak komen apa-apa, sebab selalunya kalau aku rasa senang, result aku teruk, tapi kalau aku rasa susah, result aku jauh lebih teruk. jadi, lebih baik diam. XD
the book that i thought was very bad, turns out to be good, despite the bad English. seriously, that's one crime i'm not quite willing to forgive. due to that, the facts given sometimes very misleading, and that could be dangerous. however, after straining my brain, and flipping through other notes and book, i manage to actually get the essence of what he's trying to convey. to me, the book will be much better help if it's in Bahasa Indonesia. honestly.
okayh.
abis exam.
friday, 28 March, i officially finished my last paper.
it was a hectic day:
- bangun pukul 4:30 pagi, tidur balik pkul 0500 sampai 0700, exam pukul 1000-1130.
- lepas tu, ada meeting at 1400, sampai 1530.
- basketball watching at 1630 until 1800.
- after that, girls' night out at 1900.
- movie at 2150 until 2300 lebih kurang.
- sampai bilik pukul 2350.
- sleep at 0200.
lepas tu ada kerja UPIMI yang tak sentuh lagi. padahal ahad ni nak kena hantar. aihh.
harini bangun pukul 1000. penat woo!
barulah terhegeh-hegeh nak buka laptop, cari idea kononya. barulah nak search for images la, minta logo la, apala. siap pergi kampus lagi, nak ambil gambar poster-poster lain kononnya. dasar budak suka buat kerja last minute. bagus betul.
lepas tu, sempat lagi keluar pergi chicken hartz! kerja tak siap lagi, berpoya-poya je lebih. apalaa nak jadi dengan aku neh. ishhh...
thanks a lot to raje yang banyak tolong aku, baik dari segi photoshop, atau bagi idea, and tolong buatkan teaser skali. terima kasih banyak-banyak.
anyways, poster tak siap lagi, and aku tengah blogging.
BERUSAHA.... (baca dengan nada malas nak layan..XD)
Mar 26, 2008
HYPER mode on!
satu mode yang aku suka, tapi pada masa yang sama menyusahkan aku:
my hyper mode.
to enter rean's hyper mode:
but the bad part of hyper mode is, i'm easily frustrated. and sometimes i'll just vent my frustration on unsuspecting person (tadi, jern yang kena..isk). i'll be hyper until i totally burnt out my energy, which will cause me having trouble sleeping, plus a very noticeable slump the next day. in my slumped day, i'll need 12 hours of sleep. seriously. just to cover up excess use of energy on previous day.
haihhh..
eh, wait!
i'm feeling sleepy now!
wohoo!!
exiting hyper mode sooner than i thought i would!
yeahhh!!
my hyper mode.
to enter rean's hyper mode:
- wake up early, around 3:30 am to 4:30 am
- drink coffee (specifically capuccino hazelnut)
- take breakfast
- stay awake until time for class
but the bad part of hyper mode is, i'm easily frustrated. and sometimes i'll just vent my frustration on unsuspecting person (tadi, jern yang kena..isk). i'll be hyper until i totally burnt out my energy, which will cause me having trouble sleeping, plus a very noticeable slump the next day. in my slumped day, i'll need 12 hours of sleep. seriously. just to cover up excess use of energy on previous day.
haihhh..
eh, wait!
i'm feeling sleepy now!
wohoo!!
exiting hyper mode sooner than i thought i would!
yeahhh!!
Mar 22, 2008
melarikan diri dari rutin harian
despite of my bitching in the previous post, i have quite an exciting weekend. a friend of mine came to Jogja from Jakarta, and we have a get-together for old-time sake.
didn't do much except hanging out in malls (yeah, malls, went to Malioboro Mall, Ambarrukmo Plaza and Saffir Square all in the same day) having lunch and playing arcade games, but it was fun. a nice change from the usual group of friends i usually meet around here. sounds like i desperately need new faces, eh?
and we're chilling out again together tonight. hah, went to Malioboro at night, alone. a first time for me. thank Allah, there's the friend waiting for me there.
running away from routine once in a while is fun.
ahh, i wanna go traveling. sometimes i wish i'm a guy.
isk.
didn't do much except hanging out in malls (yeah, malls, went to Malioboro Mall, Ambarrukmo Plaza and Saffir Square all in the same day) having lunch and playing arcade games, but it was fun. a nice change from the usual group of friends i usually meet around here. sounds like i desperately need new faces, eh?
and we're chilling out again together tonight. hah, went to Malioboro at night, alone. a first time for me. thank Allah, there's the friend waiting for me there.
running away from routine once in a while is fun.
ahh, i wanna go traveling. sometimes i wish i'm a guy.
isk.
Mar 21, 2008
kick me (edited)
I'M TAKING BACK THIS POST.
RASA BERSALAH SEBAB MENGUMPAT.
MENGUMPAT SANGAT TIDAK COOL.
next time i'm going to learn to control my temper better.
Mar 20, 2008
EDGAR ALLAN POE!!
even though i said in the last post that i won't buy another book for at least 6 months, i did buy a new one today. how could i not? it was a compilation of EDGAR ALLAN POE works!!! i've been searching for the hard copy of his works for months now, and it's in front of my eyes!!
aaahhh!!
POE!!!
i love you!!!
aaahhh!!
POE!!!
i love you!!!
Mar 19, 2008
the darker side of me
have you ever felt hungry after staring at cadavers?
i do. most of the time.
somehow, studying cadavers (especially the muscles), made me hungry. and usually, i'll take my lunch before anatomy class, and munch something afterwards.
i found neohumans fascinating too. there's been time when i'm obsessed with them, thinking, dreaming, drawing, reading...
maybe because most of the manga/anime that i read/watch deals with the ethical and philosophical part of neohuman, the rationale of them. and i must admit, i'm a big fan of Tsutomu Nihei's works (BLAME!, Abara, Net Sphere Engineer,NOiSE etc), and he drew a lot of neohumans (really like Cibo, Mauve)
in the last 2 years, i drifted into the world of freaks. i began reading manga like MPD Psycho, Leviathan, The Suicide Club, Goth, Angel Sanctuary, Uzumaki, Gantz and the likes of it. killing people just for the sake of making them flower pots (literally), a body made of 5 other people body parts, a club where the members killed themselves intentionally, a boy and a girl fascinated with murders, seriously, i do find them entertaining.
scene from MPD Psycho
taken from The Suicide Club
sometimes i cut myself just to feel how much does it hurt. just deep enough to scar. don't worry, i'm not suicidal. or self-destructive. i just did it out of curiosity. and i never bleed myself purposefully.
my biggest achievement currently: a picture showing surgery of the spine is being done reminds me of spaghetti with a lot of tomato sauce on it. and i salivated. ahh...i wanna watch Saw or Hostel...
strangely, i'm still scared of ghosts.
and oh, i don't really watch horror flicks. i don't know why.
i do. most of the time.
somehow, studying cadavers (especially the muscles), made me hungry. and usually, i'll take my lunch before anatomy class, and munch something afterwards.
i found neohumans fascinating too. there's been time when i'm obsessed with them, thinking, dreaming, drawing, reading...
maybe because most of the manga/anime that i read/watch deals with the ethical and philosophical part of neohuman, the rationale of them. and i must admit, i'm a big fan of Tsutomu Nihei's works (BLAME!, Abara, Net Sphere Engineer,NOiSE etc), and he drew a lot of neohumans (really like Cibo, Mauve)
in the last 2 years, i drifted into the world of freaks. i began reading manga like MPD Psycho, Leviathan, The Suicide Club, Goth, Angel Sanctuary, Uzumaki, Gantz and the likes of it. killing people just for the sake of making them flower pots (literally), a body made of 5 other people body parts, a club where the members killed themselves intentionally, a boy and a girl fascinated with murders, seriously, i do find them entertaining.
scene from MPD Psycho
taken from The Suicide Clubmy biggest achievement currently: a picture showing surgery of the spine is being done reminds me of spaghetti with a lot of tomato sauce on it. and i salivated. ahh...i wanna watch Saw or Hostel...
strangely, i'm still scared of ghosts.
and oh, i don't really watch horror flicks. i don't know why.
Book Review : Be With You.
my new target : at least make a book review once a month.
why?
well, i've been reading books, and it would be interesting to retell the story that i've read in my own words. hehe.
all right. on to the book.
Be With You
author: Takuji Ichikawa
translated by: Terry Gallagher
Published by: VIZ Media
ISBN: 1-4215-0762-5 (hard cover), 1-4215-1393-5 (paperback)
this might seem like a ghost story, but it's a sweet ghost story. hey wait, it's not really a ghost story..
it all started when Takumi's wife, Mio, died, leaving him and their six-year-old son, Yuji behind. struggling with neural disease, living a normal life is tough for Takumi, and it gets tougher when he had to take care of his only son alone. going to work is a battle for him, because taking transports made him dizzy, and his body tends to overreacted towards stimulus (if he's hungry, even just a little bit hungry, he'll just black out).
both of them yearn for the dead Mio, for assurance, for warmth, for a normal life. and one day, during the rainy season, after a year of her death, Mio came back. not as a ghost, but as flesh and blood. and thus the miracle begins (yeah, this sentence sucks). and yeah, giving out how Mio came back will be a big spoiler. XD
this story is basically about love, family and struggle in life. in the novel, Takumi questions the relevance of Mio's love towards him, and what is his purpose in life. as for Yuji, he always felt that his birth was the cause of his mother's death. and Mio too, had her problems, whether her decision to marry Takumi was right or wrong. there's also Nombre-sensei who had lived all his life for his sick sister, hovering between regrets, relieve, happiness and anger. bit by bit, the characters overcame their weaknesses through bonds between family and friends.
hmm.
i suck at reviewing.
oh well.
not forgetting, this book was made into a great movie (of the same title), sucky drama (of the same title), and a manga (i still haven't get a hold of it). and there'll be a US re-make of this movie in 2009.
oh oh!! soundtracks for both film and drama was sung by ORANGE RANGE! (Hana for the movie, and Kizuna for the drama)
orange kite says:
i'd give 10 for originality. the presentation style is different from any english novels, since it's originally written in japanese. a refreshing change, sweet but not caries-inducing. and it's written by a guy too!
why?
well, i've been reading books, and it would be interesting to retell the story that i've read in my own words. hehe.
all right. on to the book.
Be With You
author: Takuji Ichikawa
translated by: Terry Gallagher
Published by: VIZ Media
ISBN: 1-4215-0762-5 (hard cover), 1-4215-1393-5 (paperback)
this might seem like a ghost story, but it's a sweet ghost story. hey wait, it's not really a ghost story..
it all started when Takumi's wife, Mio, died, leaving him and their six-year-old son, Yuji behind. struggling with neural disease, living a normal life is tough for Takumi, and it gets tougher when he had to take care of his only son alone. going to work is a battle for him, because taking transports made him dizzy, and his body tends to overreacted towards stimulus (if he's hungry, even just a little bit hungry, he'll just black out).
both of them yearn for the dead Mio, for assurance, for warmth, for a normal life. and one day, during the rainy season, after a year of her death, Mio came back. not as a ghost, but as flesh and blood. and thus the miracle begins (yeah, this sentence sucks). and yeah, giving out how Mio came back will be a big spoiler. XD
this story is basically about love, family and struggle in life. in the novel, Takumi questions the relevance of Mio's love towards him, and what is his purpose in life. as for Yuji, he always felt that his birth was the cause of his mother's death. and Mio too, had her problems, whether her decision to marry Takumi was right or wrong. there's also Nombre-sensei who had lived all his life for his sick sister, hovering between regrets, relieve, happiness and anger. bit by bit, the characters overcame their weaknesses through bonds between family and friends.
hmm.
i suck at reviewing.
oh well.
not forgetting, this book was made into a great movie (of the same title), sucky drama (of the same title), and a manga (i still haven't get a hold of it). and there'll be a US re-make of this movie in 2009.
oh oh!! soundtracks for both film and drama was sung by ORANGE RANGE! (Hana for the movie, and Kizuna for the drama)
orange kite says:
i'd give 10 for originality. the presentation style is different from any english novels, since it's originally written in japanese. a refreshing change, sweet but not caries-inducing. and it's written by a guy too!
Mar 17, 2008
impulse buying
gramedia (a bookstore chain here, equivalent to thai kuang or MPH in Malaysia) had used books sales today.
and i rushed to it after dinner.
spent around rp 226 000 (lebey kuang rm 100)
i bought:
Silmarillion is also addition to my LOTR collections. now i'm only missing The Hobbit and The Two Towers (sebab malas nak beli..haha!).
Bought Dante's Club because the murder cases have something to do with Dante's Inferno (been trying to find that book...i've already have Faust, now i want Dante). sounds mysterious, satanic and gory. definitely my cup of tea (or should i say coffee? i don't like tea that much).
I really like Dirk Pitt's adventure in Inca Gold, thus i accidentally bought 2 of Clive Cussler's books. hopefully they'll be as fun as the Incan adventure. go Dirk Pitt!!
Hannibal. well, i like the movie well enough to think that the book will be better. heh.
Sir Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes is what drawn me into the world of detectives and mysteries. it's a classic. it's a great classic. i'd be a fool not to buy it. XD (though i prefer A Study in Scarlet better...)
oh. and i don't think i'll be finishing all these books in 3 months time. since i already have a few books i'm currently reading, and still not finished like The Labyrinth - Kate Mosse (reviews said it's better than Da Vinci Code, i say it lacks the excitement and conspiracy of the Code), Vintage Mystery and Detective Stories - various author (well, it's thick. and a lot of stories. plus old style english. needs time to digest) and a few more i haven't even touch.
heh.
after this i will not have to buy books for another 6 months. XD
and i rushed to it after dinner.
spent around rp 226 000 (lebey kuang rm 100)
i bought:
- The Feast of All Saints -Anne Rice
- The Silmarillion - JRR Tolkien
- The Mummy or Ramses the Damned - Anne Rice
- The Dante Club - Matthew Pearl
- White Death - Clive Cussler with Paul Kemprecos
- Trojan Odyssey - Clive Cussler
- Servants of the Bones - Anne Rice
- Hannibal - Thomas Harris
- The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Silmarillion is also addition to my LOTR collections. now i'm only missing The Hobbit and The Two Towers (sebab malas nak beli..haha!).
Bought Dante's Club because the murder cases have something to do with Dante's Inferno (been trying to find that book...i've already have Faust, now i want Dante). sounds mysterious, satanic and gory. definitely my cup of tea (or should i say coffee? i don't like tea that much).
I really like Dirk Pitt's adventure in Inca Gold, thus i accidentally bought 2 of Clive Cussler's books. hopefully they'll be as fun as the Incan adventure. go Dirk Pitt!!
Hannibal. well, i like the movie well enough to think that the book will be better. heh.
Sir Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes is what drawn me into the world of detectives and mysteries. it's a classic. it's a great classic. i'd be a fool not to buy it. XD (though i prefer A Study in Scarlet better...)
oh. and i don't think i'll be finishing all these books in 3 months time. since i already have a few books i'm currently reading, and still not finished like The Labyrinth - Kate Mosse (reviews said it's better than Da Vinci Code, i say it lacks the excitement and conspiracy of the Code), Vintage Mystery and Detective Stories - various author (well, it's thick. and a lot of stories. plus old style english. needs time to digest) and a few more i haven't even touch.
heh.
after this i will not have to buy books for another 6 months. XD
Mar 16, 2008
blog revamped!!
someone advised me to change the colour of my blog since it's dark and a bit depressing. i kinda think so too, because instead of being cool, it had become emo. which is so not cool. so for now i'm gonna use this template. so how you guys like the new look? XD
ps: raje's the one who taught me about basic html. so aku godam lepas dapat tunjuk ajar dari dia. thanks a lot raje!!!
ps: raje's the one who taught me about basic html. so aku godam lepas dapat tunjuk ajar dari dia. thanks a lot raje!!!
Mar 14, 2008
guys, girls and a little touch of reality
is having a boyfriend or girlfriend really important? is having someone you like liking you back is really important? is it a must for the person you fancy to reciprocate your feelings?
i don't know
i honestly don't know.
all of the guys i've had crush on didn't even know i exist. if they do, i don't think they realized that i'm a girl. or maybe they just think that i'm just a "gedik" girl (which is worst).
being an expert on unrequited love (well, not really), i found out it's not such a big deal that your love wasn't returned. it's not like if you have an unrequited love you won't have money to live. or there'll be people wanting to assassinate you. or the world will suddenly crumble to pieces and we're facing Armageddon. yeah, you'll get sad. and the world will also becomes bleak and unworthy to live in. but who's to blame when all starting to dwindle around you? when you start to lose your touch to reality? or when your world is turning upside down? the person who doesn't return your love? the one they prefer? or your own self?
they did nothing to you except saying no. and maybe it's you that start to read too much about their attention towards you. putting too much hope into it, and when it starts to crumble, you blame the person for leading you on and break your heart into pieces. and you ponder and ponder upon it, slandering the one that you once love. is your love that shallow? is it just for show?
i've been through losses. i've been dumped by the guy i truly like once. most of the time my crushes had their eyes set on girls that i can never be. and there's even the time when i thought everything is going smoothly, i found out that the guy already had a girlfriend. of course i've been through a lot of heartbreaks. i've had happy episodes in my pathetic love story, but that's only 3 to 4 episodes. in the 365 chapters of woeful love drama, that's just brief moments. very brief moments. my love story is a nightmare itself, i don't even know if anyone finds me attractive. i just assume that i'm not.
however, that doesn't give me the license to slander the male populations. stereotyping them into a bunch of idiotic people who only prefer pretty, shallow girls over plain but personalised girls. by doing it, not only i condemned the opposite sex, i also cursed my own. what good can i get from that? nothing. it only show how stupid and weak i am. or maybe how much of an asshole i am. or maybe just to show how superficial my love is, easily abandoned upon facing an obstacle.
i tried my very best, to keep on good terms with all my ex-crushes. even when they broke my heart. because, it's not their fault that i've fallen for them. they don't even ask for it. and they don't intentionally mean to break my fragile cardiac. maybe it's not time for me yet, and maybe i'm not ready, and they sensed it. so i move on. from crush to crush, heartbreak to heartbreak, keeping track of the previous ones, repeating the same mistakes again and again. but always, always i try to say good things and have good intentions for them.
that's why i don't accept slandering the opposite sex. it's just lame. i truly belief that you make your own happiness. getting the person you like doesn't even guarantee your happiness if you cannot be grateful of what you had. you, yourself have to make you happy.
i may not have luck with guys whatsoever, but i'm surrounded by lots of girls whom i called friends. and they truly the best that i had, they cheered me up when i'm down, and go crazy together when i'm happy. and i won't trade them for anyone in the world. ever. so i'm happy, even with a 365 episodes of sad love story...
i don't know
i honestly don't know.
all of the guys i've had crush on didn't even know i exist. if they do, i don't think they realized that i'm a girl. or maybe they just think that i'm just a "gedik" girl (which is worst).
being an expert on unrequited love (well, not really), i found out it's not such a big deal that your love wasn't returned. it's not like if you have an unrequited love you won't have money to live. or there'll be people wanting to assassinate you. or the world will suddenly crumble to pieces and we're facing Armageddon. yeah, you'll get sad. and the world will also becomes bleak and unworthy to live in. but who's to blame when all starting to dwindle around you? when you start to lose your touch to reality? or when your world is turning upside down? the person who doesn't return your love? the one they prefer? or your own self?
they did nothing to you except saying no. and maybe it's you that start to read too much about their attention towards you. putting too much hope into it, and when it starts to crumble, you blame the person for leading you on and break your heart into pieces. and you ponder and ponder upon it, slandering the one that you once love. is your love that shallow? is it just for show?
i've been through losses. i've been dumped by the guy i truly like once. most of the time my crushes had their eyes set on girls that i can never be. and there's even the time when i thought everything is going smoothly, i found out that the guy already had a girlfriend. of course i've been through a lot of heartbreaks. i've had happy episodes in my pathetic love story, but that's only 3 to 4 episodes. in the 365 chapters of woeful love drama, that's just brief moments. very brief moments. my love story is a nightmare itself, i don't even know if anyone finds me attractive. i just assume that i'm not.
however, that doesn't give me the license to slander the male populations. stereotyping them into a bunch of idiotic people who only prefer pretty, shallow girls over plain but personalised girls. by doing it, not only i condemned the opposite sex, i also cursed my own. what good can i get from that? nothing. it only show how stupid and weak i am. or maybe how much of an asshole i am. or maybe just to show how superficial my love is, easily abandoned upon facing an obstacle.
i tried my very best, to keep on good terms with all my ex-crushes. even when they broke my heart. because, it's not their fault that i've fallen for them. they don't even ask for it. and they don't intentionally mean to break my fragile cardiac. maybe it's not time for me yet, and maybe i'm not ready, and they sensed it. so i move on. from crush to crush, heartbreak to heartbreak, keeping track of the previous ones, repeating the same mistakes again and again. but always, always i try to say good things and have good intentions for them.
that's why i don't accept slandering the opposite sex. it's just lame. i truly belief that you make your own happiness. getting the person you like doesn't even guarantee your happiness if you cannot be grateful of what you had. you, yourself have to make you happy.
i may not have luck with guys whatsoever, but i'm surrounded by lots of girls whom i called friends. and they truly the best that i had, they cheered me up when i'm down, and go crazy together when i'm happy. and i won't trade them for anyone in the world. ever. so i'm happy, even with a 365 episodes of sad love story...
black death
i think i should change the background color of my blog to something more cheerful.
anything other than black.
or maybe not.
aiihhh...
lately, some of my guy friends blogs are filled with angst, and hopelessness. and some uses the black background to suit the mood. maybe there's something in the air that only affect those who produce testosterone in abundance.
but that doesn't explain my own angst-ridden entries, or despair that's shown in the girls' blogs. haiihhh...
seriously, there's something in the air. if not, there's something in the water. or whatever.
or maybe this anger, this hopelessness, this despair is some kind of new virus that easily affected all that tread the blogworld.
hopefully we'll find cure for it soon.
until then, be prepare to spiral down the dark, murky path of blackness...
anything other than black.
or maybe not.
aiihhh...
lately, some of my guy friends blogs are filled with angst, and hopelessness. and some uses the black background to suit the mood. maybe there's something in the air that only affect those who produce testosterone in abundance.
but that doesn't explain my own angst-ridden entries, or despair that's shown in the girls' blogs. haiihhh...
seriously, there's something in the air. if not, there's something in the water. or whatever.
or maybe this anger, this hopelessness, this despair is some kind of new virus that easily affected all that tread the blogworld.
hopefully we'll find cure for it soon.
until then, be prepare to spiral down the dark, murky path of blackness...
Mar 9, 2008
Growing Up
when i was a kid, i always imagine being a grown up must be interesting. getting to stay up all night, wearing beautiful clothes that you can buy using your own money, traveling alone...
but now where am i? 21 going 22, and i still not the adult that i wanted to be. and i don't think i want to be an adult either.
i'm not gonna reminisce the childhood days of mine. but i want to retain the wide eyed wonder that i used to stare at the world. the innocent curiosity, the never ending sense of adventure. and of course the unquenchable thirst for knowledge.
i lost all those things when i grow up. i think i've turned into this ass who's too lazy to THINK. somehow along the way, i've traded my brain cells for what ever shit that's in my head now. i've become this boring, idiotic girl, whose thought evolve around surviving school and doing lame things in my free time.
GROWING UP SUCKS. big time...*sigh*
but now where am i? 21 going 22, and i still not the adult that i wanted to be. and i don't think i want to be an adult either.
i'm not gonna reminisce the childhood days of mine. but i want to retain the wide eyed wonder that i used to stare at the world. the innocent curiosity, the never ending sense of adventure. and of course the unquenchable thirst for knowledge.
i lost all those things when i grow up. i think i've turned into this ass who's too lazy to THINK. somehow along the way, i've traded my brain cells for what ever shit that's in my head now. i've become this boring, idiotic girl, whose thought evolve around surviving school and doing lame things in my free time.
GROWING UP SUCKS. big time...*sigh*
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